Is he going to do something stupid

[tiredwife123]

My DH and I are going through a bad patch again. He's been I'd say a manic depressive most of his adult life and been a bigger to live with over the years.
He's not always been nice to me so I've developed a tough skin that can come across as hard on occasions, but done it to protect myself.
Recently he's decided he's been a prick for too long and tried to make up for it by now being over the top nice which is actually worse. It's actually very suffocating.
This evening he's wanted to talk but I haven't the energy for yet another why don't you love me anymore conversation and now he's just got upset and jumped in the car and driven off. I'm worried that he'll do something stupid

Do something stupid as in? It seems like he's blowing off steam. Give him a call if you're concerned? Perhaps you could ask a friend or family member to check in on him?

He's had lows like this before. I have text him to say don't do anything stupid. I don't think he will but he has had thoughts before of ending his life.

Chances are that he won't, but the situation sounds draining. From what you say I'm guessing he doesn't have an actual diagnosis of anything - does he refuse to see the doctor for one?

It's presumably encouraging that he's starting to understand how difficult he can be to live with. First step would be to get help for himself. Then up to you to decide whether the relationship's worth trying to rescue.

@FetchezLaVache thank you. He won't go to the doctor as he doesn't think he has a problem. I've researched it and he does have all of the symptoms.
It is such a drain, I'm always treading on egg shells, he's been emotionally abusive over the years and I've now developed a thick skin.
I've changed a lot over the last 5 or so years, got a wonderful job and could support myself and the children should I need too. I guess I'm scared to make the break having been together for the best part of 25years, but the thought of staying together also fills me with dread.

Look after yourself and your children, OP. If the future with him fills you with dread, you really need to end the relationship now.

Bipolar doesnt make you abusive. I think this is probably more about him seeing you making a bid for freedom. It is totally ok for you to want out after 25 years of this shite. Good for you being able to support yourself.

Love, life's too short to stay with someone who makes you feel like that. It's only salvageable, now that he seems to have had this epiphany, if he gets some proper help. God knows marriage isn't easy but you shouldn't have to develop strategies for coping with emotional abuse. Apart from anything else, it sends the wrong message to your kids. I'd be having a serious think...

Ditch him. He's not worth the trouble. Use that dread and worry to move out and start anew.

scared to make the break having been together for the best part of 25years, but the thought of staying together also fills me with dread

Unfortunately, if he can't admit he has a problem and take steps to resolve it, you're looking at another 25 years and more of the same. Is that what you want to look back on when you're old?

I believe it was the late Christopher Reeve who said, wrt divorce: "there are no prizes for grinning and baring it" and there really aren't.

If he threatens it, call the police, tell them his registration number and that he appears to suffering a mental health crisis that is making him a danger to himself and, hopefully, they'll do a welfare check on him - and if he's obviously mentally unwell, they can have him assessed whilst keeping him in the cells for his own protection.

Then it's up to you whether you take him back or not. I wouldn't

If he's genuinely unwell, it gets picked up and if he isn't - well, he's less likely to try that shit again if he knows it's going to lead to a visit from a couple of burly coppers and an approved social worker.

Thanks everyone, he came back after an hour or so and has gone to work as usual. I haven't spoke to him and won't today, I have no energy for drama.
I need to have a serious think, I really do want to part ways, it's just never ever that easy is it?