Ex moved on

[lifeandblood93]

Hi all,
I was in a relationship with a work colleague for about a year - we really liked each other but then after a year, I broke things off because it was clear that although we were very much in sync it wouldn't work out long term because of our different backgrounds etc. We were both sad about it and he didn't really want to end it. Anyway, since then, he met someone and has been seeing her for a year. It's heartbreaking for me, because we work together I still get to hear all the details of them going on holiday, him whisking her away for a weekend etc. He will still text me occasionally to say he still loves me. How do I move on? It's been a year since he started dating her! I tried NC but how do you do it when someone and their love life is constantly in your face. I'm terrified of hearing about their future engagement and wedding etc etc.

It's bang out of order that he still texts you that. Makes it incredibly hard on you to properly move on.

yes and he also mentions details of his relationship that feel very much like he's rubbing things in - like saying he misses cuddling her when she went away for a weekend. Why do I need to know that?! sigh.

Meet someone else?

Stop talking to him and keep your relationship professional. Delete and block his number and social media.

If necessary, find a new job.

Do you have a way of contacting her? Because I'd screenshot his lovelorn texts to her. She deserves to know she's dating a headfucking cockwomble.

I've met her - he brings her to work events :( I wouldn't feel right meddling in their relationship - it looks like it's going to go the distance. I just need to stop being bothered by it.

Change jobs would be the easiest thing

You dumped him though. He has to a certain extent moved on.

Why don't you get out there and try and meet someone else.

Jeez. Tell him you don't want to hear it.
And tell him if he doesn't stop that you will let his DP know about the texts and send her proof.
That 'should' put a stop to it.

Meddling my arse. He's the one sending "I still wuv oo" texts.

Still, tell him the next pathetic lovelorn text will be forwarded to GF, even if you won't and suggest he gets a new role outside your company.

I can't believe that quite major life changing advice is handed out with such ease here.

Just get another job?! As if life is that easy.

Imo the OP dumped him and he didn't want to end it and neither did she.

There's still a connection between them.

All OP needs to do is tell him where to go with his messages and block him and adjust ignore him

Block his number.

Tell him you're not comfortable talking with him about his relationship and you'll be civil but not close.

Urgh, he’s an immature dick. Be very thankful that you’re no longer in a relationship with him because if you were, chances are, he’d be going behind your back for an ego stroke.

You need to think less about him being the one that got away and more like him being the bullet you dodged.

The best way to combat this immaturity is to act like (fake it until you make it) you don’t care.

Office romances are never a good idea because of crap like this.

I did consider moving jobs but it's really not easy at all and I'd feel horrendous if I was to upend my career because of this.
He's told me that we're perfect together etc (while he's been with her). I just hate that I have to get over him while having his relationship be in my face (he's whisked her away for valentine's) - it's almost unavoidable that I have to hear some of this because of being colleagues.

I totally see why they say don't get involved with someone at work. It really sucks. I'm all for NC but since that's not an easy thing to do here, it makes it all the harder.

I agree with one of the previous messages that I probably need to fake it till I make it- pretend that it doesn't bother me.

Block his number so he can’t text you, it’s the easiest way. I’d also be tempted to find a new job. This is why you shouldn’t date people at work btw.

I should have said that I broke it off because it was clear we didn't have a long term future not just because of our backgrounds but I have kids from a previous relationship (and he's never wanted kids, though that may change now that he's with someone)

He wasn't right for me I guess (despite the connection we had) and I shouldn't be pining for him.