Sharing the housework after retirement?

[NormaSnorks]

DH is planning retirement over next 3-5 years. He commented today how he was looking forward to more free time. I said "yes, me too" and he gave me a quizzical look. I said I was looking forward to only having to do half of the shopping, meal planning, laundry, cleaning and general household management.
His face was a picture!
Seriously though, how do you get a retired partner to begin to do their fair share when they have been used to doing virtually nothing?

Any experiences to share?

I'd start by only doing half and then sitting back and waiting for him to do the rest...

I hate to say this but I wish my husband wouldn't do so much. Not because I mind him pitching in but after 40 years I have discovered I've been doing the chores wrong all this time. We have more arguements over him criticising the way i do things than i can cope with.
Its a huge adjustment.
My best advice is to encourage him to do the jobs you don't like or don't care how they're done.
Tbf to my dh he does cook more now and when I get dinner he does the clearing up afterwards. He like food shopping and spend a a good 20% more than I would.
Apparently snickers bars are part of the weekly shop now. Along with 3 types of biscuits and lots of crisps.

Start at the beginning of the relationship !

Remember my mum got frustrated when dad retired and took over the kitchen etc, she felt really put out and lost.

My mum worked then when she has us she childminding for a few years, then did an NNEB and a teaching degree then taught full time and did most of the house stuff as well.

My dad retired at 50 (police, he'd done 30 years + so full pension) while mum was still working (they are the same age).

Mum told him that she'd done 30 years and it was his turn now.
He took on pretty much all the home responsibilities and 23 years later he still does most of it (mum retired about 17 years ago, but looked after my kids when they were small).

My H retired before I did so had already taken over a lot.

It might be better if you each have your own tasks rather than share tasks.

For example, my H does the online supermarket order from a shopping list we write together. He does hoovering and lawn-mowing. I do laundry and bathrooms. We take turns to cook. He does most of the washing up. I change the bed more often than he does. He’s in charge of managing utilities. I do everything related to the car.

Are you working currently? Or did he look taken aback because you don't work outside the home at the moment, so he was wondering what you were retiring from?

My DH is retired and I’m way off retirement age. It causes some dispute that he does more in the house than I do. The odd thing is I can’t remember how we divvied it up when we both worked? I do know we didn’t fall out about it.

DH has retired, he now regards his hobbies as a full time occupation.

He washes up sometimes.

Be careful what you wish for.
That person taking on half of the chores might have opinions about how they should be done. Strong misplaced opinions based on fuck-all experience.
And it's very annoying

Have you been working out of the home over the last few years, OP?

I'm planning travel & adventures !

Dividing household chores is the last thing I'm thinking about planning on retirement

I would start by asking whether he wants to stick with doing his own laundry, ironing, feeding himself and cleaning up all the muck and mess he creates now he's home more to make it, or whether he would rather opt for a more collaborative approach to looking after your home and yourselves so you can both enjoy this next phase of your lives together.

Hollowtalk - I’m not working in the full time employment sense, no, but I do some freelance consultancy, manage a rental property, volunteer for a charity and am studying 20 hrs a week for a PG qualification, so I don’t consider myself a SAHM really either. We still have one school-age child with some special needs.
I do all the shopping, meal planning, laundry, family admin. We have a cleaner once a week at the moment, but if we decide to drop that once DH retires there’s no way I’m picking all that up!

Splitting tasks is the way to go. We are both still working with retirement sadly some time off! Mid fifties ...

My husband hoovers and mows lawn. He can clean bathrooms but kids do that atm. He is great at 'gutting' rooms (everything in the bin) but useless at everyday tidying. So we play to each other's strengths.

I have to do the laundry as I'm obsessed at the correct way to hang clothes to dry. My problem .

Just to say be careful what you wish for. My DH retired and basically pushed me out of my home. I went from him having absolutely no interest in house or child things, maybe putting out bins once a week to doing everything to minute detail. Commenting on how cups are stacked in the kitchen. Going through kids clothes “sorting”, putting clothes into wash without stain removing or tumble drying stuff that can’t be. I’ve had to throw away hundreds of pounds of ruined clothes. I now have to have a separate washing basket for my stuff that he doesn’t touch and I have to do anything that needs stain removal immediately because I can’t trust that he won’t just wash it if it’s left on the side. If I hoover, he’ll then hoover it again. It’s constant and quite honestly, it’s been exhausting. I now feel completely detached from my own home because he’s taken over control of every little thing. It’s anxiety making. I can’t now just sit on the sofa and watch tv for a bit after doing some housework because he’s blustering around. There’s no privacy and no space. I have no idea what the answer is but having a retired husband with no external hobbies is an utter nightmare. So he prepared.

I think I know what the answer is, @poopbear - two smaller homes!