Feeling so so so broken

[Sad1246]

I’m mid thirties and have been alone most of my adult life apart from a couple of long term relationships in my twenties (3 ish years each).

I’ve had lots of shorter relationships than I’ve ended or dates that I didn’t want to progress into anything further. I used to get a lot of male attention, these days I get less interest but have dates.

Recently I met someone I really really liked. I thought things were going well but the effort just isn’t there from his part and now I feel like I really will never find the right one. Everyone around me has something going on in their life like a child or husband or wedding or anniversary or honeymoon.

I have everything sorted in my life and comments like be happy first then you’ll meet someone aren’t helpful. I am happy but this makes me sad. Lots of sad people are also in relationships and it doesn’t stop them having a relationship.

I feel broken today and like everything is pointless. Once again wondering what to say to another man to end something I had been hopeful about.

Sorry don’t know what I’m asking really! Just having a moan and any words of advice or snapping me out of this would be nice

What does the right one look like?

I mean, I had a pal once who would think she was going to be alone forever but would only date pilots. There just was no deviations from that. So of course it was hard finding that perfect dude.

I'm not saying this is you though.

Love and be happy with yourself first
Then you will be ready for a successful relationship
Sorry but you sound so needy which is not attractive

I don't think your situation is bad at all as I know people in their 30s who have never had a relationship. What's your ideal man? Are your expectations realistic? Be the energy you want to attract as well.

Hi Op ,

I’m kind of in a similar situation too like I’ve had relationships been on dates But just haven’t found the one yet , and it’s frustrating but my best advice would be don’t give up or lose hope as it could stop you having that chance to find the one for you , you never know what life will bring but if you don’t try or you give up you lose that chance if you see what I mean? and sometimes it’s better to be single and still have a chance of finding the right one for you than still being in a relationship and it not being the right kind of relationship for you , sometimes the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and sometimes good things really do come to those who wait , sending hugs to you

Ohhh honey, I am right there with you. I'm 40 and twice divorced and I feel the same way. It's devastating sometimes, the fear of just being alone for the rest of my life. sending you lots of hugs.

I know the frustration you feel. I had exactly the same experience in my 30's. Lots of short term relationships which never went anywhere. At 45 the longest relationship I've had is 3.5 years. Engaged twice (I don't count the 3rd as I said yes to avoid a row). I am in a relationship now and still wonder on occasion if he's the one. I don't want to be single again though and feel that frustration of having love to give but noone to give it too, but equally being in a relationship but being unsure is hard. Maybe we're both commitment phobes. Wish I had better advice. I feel your pain though.