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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why does he ignore me like this?

3 replies

shakiwulub9 · 12/02/2020 11:08

Could somebody please shed some light for me... I am going mad in my own thoughts 😔

Had a brief yet intense and fun relationship with a guy in summer 2019. All together lasted about 2 months, it was very whirlwind but we were both happy and it was fun while it lasted. He abruptly called things off one day, with no real explanation (a bit of wooly white-wash that he wanted to go travelling and "wouldn't be able to cope with a LDR) ... anyway he never went travelling so to me it just looked like he cut me off for 6 months thinking that the grass was greener elsewhere...

Recently he has started messaging me again, almost as if picking up where we left off (audacious, I know!) And as happy as I was to be talking to him again, I did make it clear that I was left feeling very sad and confused at the manner in which he called things off. He said "all I can do is apologise, and all I can do is give you my word that it won't happen again"...

We are colleagues!!!

Despite these recent messages, he hasn't even been able to look at me at work! Nor say hello or even acknowledge that I am around. If anything, it's as if he goes out of his way to look away from me. He went through a phase of blanking me at work post-break up (I presumed he felt silly/a little awkward), but to continue ignoring me despite his apparent recent efforts to make amends?? What even is this?!?!?! He was telling me last week how he wants to schedule lunch in our work day sometime soon, and even go out together again outside of work.... but he can't even look at me?!

What is this? What is he??? Is it something I've done?!

OP posts:
Musti · 12/02/2020 11:13

He's a headf*ck and you should stray clear

GoodnightJude1 · 12/02/2020 11:18

Sounds like he wants a FWB. He wants you at his beck and call to boost his ego but isn’t prepared to acknowledge you in ‘Real life’

Tell him to jog on!

shakiwulub9 · 12/02/2020 11:44

Thank you both.

I really want to send him a message telling him exactly how he has made me feel, as I hate the idea that he thinks he can play me and that I'm OK with it. Is it worth sending?? One half of me says don't bother .... the other half says there is nothing to lose, he has been happy enough to mess with my feelings and it's only right that I take a chance to tell him about mine!?

I wouldn't bother if we didn't work together, but the fact that we do, I want to clear the air / give him the opportunity to stop making life so damn awkward and confusing for us BOTH in the workplace.

OP posts:
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