Social services visit - I am petrified can someone help please

[FollowingAmirage]

The school reported us to social services and I am really worried. Can someone please help explain the process?

So, my eldest is on the autism spectrum and his recollection of events is not always accurate. He told the school that his dad hit him while he was helping him with homework. I wasn't physically in the same room with them and my husband is adamant that he only taps his head to remind him to focus/look at the work!! Please note that there were no marks that I could see on the day and this was an isolated event.

My son also told the school that we (parents) argue a lot, which is partly true but surely this is no reason for removing kids from a loving home?

The social worker came today and he was reassured that the kids are well. I admitted that my husband has anger management issues but this is usually directed at me and that I have plans in place in case we need to leave etc. but that he has never been abusive towards the kids. My husband is also going through a rough patch financially/health wise which is all affecting his mood.

Please can someone reassure me that nothing bad will happen following this process? I actually have no idea what the process is and I just feel that I didn't ask all the questions as the kids kept interrupting!! I just know I won't be sleeping today...:(

My husband only visit on the weekend (sometimes every other 2 weeks) due to work any way. And when I say anger issues it is not 24/7! I wouldn’t allow it..

So the little time he is at home results in regular arguments.

But splitting up wouldn't mean the dc don't see him at all - he could see them for supervised access. And they could maintain whatever non-physical contact (facetime/phone etc) they currently have with him when he's working away.

I don't see how you think it benefits them for him to be with them if he can't be trusted. You say his anger is directed only at you, but it clearly isn't. (And that's bad for them too, to have their mum abused).

Of course they love him, but that's cos they're born to, and it doesn't mean he's safe for them or not damaging them. Parents are there to make the hard decisions for kids to protect them, because they can't do it themselves.

Ss involvement is the perfect time to get out of the relationship and have support with supervised contact.

Op, please be assured that the last thing social services will be looking at is removing your child. They have had a referral and are rightly following up on concerns raised by the school. But you do need to be honest with them so they can offer support. A child with autism can be stressful and need special parenting. Maybe your husband isn’t dealing with this? Even a tap on the head could seem more to him? However your husband will need to engage, be honest, or you may need to consider him leaving the family home for the best interests of the children

Seeing SS in your situation opens doors
To help You wouldn’t usually get OP
I had the same last summer and they referred me To Freedom programme

I eventually split with DP at the end of
Last year

They won’t take the kids away . If everything you state here stands

It’s very hard and very stressful but it does help open your eyes a bit

Wishing you the best , I know how stressful
This can be

Thank you all. This is all very reassuring 😊. Yes, agreed help is needed in our situation and please understand that I have been honest with Ss and I am open to all help/eventualities. Again no judgments please...