Feeling really sad

[Artb0x]

Hi everyone. I've had quite an emotional day, so I did post about it the other day, but I found out my boyfriend of nearly 2 years had been searching for a girl on facebook. He tried different spellings of her name and the shop she works in, he sells games and dvds at her shop.
I found out hes been seeing her in there for 2 months or so and he said he only looked her up the other day, so I imagine they've been getting chummier each visit?
I asked him about it and he said he was just looking her up in general then said "dont tell me you havent looked up people before" I said I do people I know, not some random person who serves me.
He met me face to face earlier to talk about it, huffing on the phone when I asked him. I had gone to see what she looked like earlier in the day and I could tell who it was straight away, she had an accent and when I text him he confirmed that would have been her...then I learnt he went to her shop.later in the day to sell stuff..I felt like I had given him a heads up.
When we met I said I wanted to see his body language around her so asked him for us to go in there together. He kept refusing to begin with then eventually did, but kept hanging around the front of the shop. She was on the till, went out the back and then he walked nearer to the other side, where I asked him to go with me.
I asked him if he was embarrassed to be seen with me, apparently I was being "loud" and then he gave me this really awkward hug that wasn't genuine at all
I ended walking out in tears and I asked him if hed ask her out if he was single...he hesitated then said no.
I'm going to rehab tomorrow for alcohol problems and when I said I cant see him anymore because I cant trust him and would he worrying constantly when he goes in there, he said well I wish you the best. No emotion or anything. I wish he would have just confirmed it. Oh and not to mention she looked like his ex of 9 years.

I understand its tough and it hurts. It's also shit that he wasnt exactly open and honest but in this scenario I think you have bigger fish to fry. I think people come into (and leave) our lives for a number of reasons, some of them qrent always clear at the time. But in all honesty I think hes done you a huge favour. I think right now, your priority should be abs needs to be getting yourself healthy and well again.
Please embrace rehab, throw yourself into it and use it as your tool to a better life. Once you are dealing with your issues and mentally in a happier and healthy place the right person will come along. You have alot of hardworking to do and in years to come will see this relationship ending as a blessing, a gift given to you to allow you to focus on one thing ... your recovery. That's what is important now.

@ALittleBitConfused1 do you think he does like her then? I just cant think if another reason why he would look up a random girl who works in a shop he goes in?

He has been so supportive with my alcoholism and was still saying earlier he still wants to be with me and I have his heart. I just feel so lost. We only went out to eat on Friday and he was cuddling me loads (like he usually does) the next night. It just seems to weird and sudden :(