Do abusive men ever stop?

[worriedfordds]

My exH has been continuing his abuse of me via the court system since he's not been able to do it directly. It's been years of this. Do they ever stop? I keep hoping once the children are 16 that he'll no longer be able to do this. Does anyone have any experience to give me hope?

in short, no.

the only way he can be stopped is by you having nothing to do with him, no contact, no reaction, nothing.

Is he banned from all contact with you? then perhaps you can talk to court about his ongoing malicious use of court time to abuse and harass you and to get them to ban him from taking any further action against you?

It's shit, I feel for you, but this is his decision to be an arsehole. he is of literally no use to the kids whatsoever, so if old enough they may be able refuse to go to contact.

There is a mechanism available to block him making further applications re: you to court without specificly first gaining the permission of the court. If he's filing a lot of baseless applications, speak with your solicitor about applying for this to be put in place.

I'm also counting down to "16", when I'll no longer be required to contact him to prove I'm parenting constructively (why is it only women who must prove this?) and therefore may be able to obtain a non-mol. The system forces us to continue contact and effectively to continue to be abused. It really sucks.

They don't, no. It's all about power and control. What support are you getting OP and do you have legal help?

I have no direct contact with him because of his abuse. Everything goes via my solicitor. The court have said no more applications without permission but they still grant his applications.
I'm sorry others are going through this too

I have a domestic abuse worker who is great but only recently been assigned to me.
He lies so much. About everything. Years and years of this. Eldest is 13 now and thankfully has a voice. He's abused her and he's kicking off because I've done something about it to protect her and her sister. I'm
Just so tired of his crap.

The court have said no more applications without permission but they still grant his applications.

What can I say, that's outrageous.

How old is the youngest? You may be almost at the point where both their opinions are taken into account. Has your solicitor discussed the possibility of this with you?

Are you using legal aid or a private solicitor? Are you happy with how aggressive your solicitor has been on your behalf?

My solicitor is good and I have legal aid. Good job seeing as this will be my 19th time in court! Or is it 18? I lost count after 16 tbh.

This is pretty devastating news. I’m fed up and can’t imagine years of crazy. Surely there must be a way... I’m currently considering no contact and if he doesn’t show ontime for pick ups I’m just going to go out and enjoy my weekend with the kids. The lateness and poor me rants are exhausting

No. Not in my case.