Is there any hope for me ?

[Fixedterm]

I’m so lonely and miserable. I’m 30, living at home . My only friends are moving away so far that’s it . I don’t have a very good job.

I really want to settle down, but I can’t find anyone interested enough in me . Frankly , I’m just not a catch either . I get an initial attraction , nothing more .

I’m really tired. I always seem to be on the outside looking in . I’ve never had a normal relationship and the only decent friendships I’ve had are now about to end .

I sound like a real misery guts but I act happy / bubbly when I out/with people.
Any advice welcome .

First you know there’s a problem.

I would self improve. Look at better job opportunities - what qualifications do you need to aim for? Where are the courses? Any jobs where you work?

Then I would look at the normal type you go for - accept your type isn’t working. Date people who are different to what you’d normally chose.

If you have any doubts don’t waste your time and move on. Be honest about what you want - if you want marriage and kids just tell them straight. If they don’t move on.

@Fixedterm have you thought about moving out? From personal experience one of the best decisions I made. Yes money is tight. Very tight but it’s a first step. I think having your own space is such a big thing.

Similar shout here. 31. Not working at all though (suffered through some horrendous workplace bullying and now frightened to look again). But have my own place... for now.

Tend to get along well enough with peeps but haven't formed any friendships in years. Guys I like aren't into me. That is, when there are any I like actually around lol.

Used to and probably still do attract narcs. Got shot of a lot of shit ppl. But then....what's left now? Pretty much just me. Lol. Best friend lives hours away.

Tried meetup, college classes, online dating ect...

Relatively happy in myself...bar the work thing. Wish I was ambitious.

But no friends. No romance. Just me. No one around to even go out and dance with!

I feel like the world is just passing me by. Like I'm just meant to be...filler in other peoples life or something.

So you aren't alone. I don't know if it gets better.

It's a sick cosmic joke.

But hey, Locke and key on Netflix was good. One day at a time I guess. Good luck with yours!

These have good relationship and life videos on YouTube:

Susan Winter
Marisa Peer
Matthew Hussey
Derrick Jaxn

And if you have narcissist in your life:
Surviving narcissism
Spartan life coach
Narc Survivor
Melanie Tonia Evans
Sarah Speaks

Being 30 and still living at home is not in your favour, and I'm sure it's not good for your self-esteem. I would focus on getting a better job and moving out, as quickly as possible.

@Pinkbonbon I can relate. Am in 40s. Luckily Job not too bad and have friends however all married with kids and live far away now so be lucky if I see them once a month.

Like you have tried all that stuff that everyone recommends. Never been in a relationship. Never ever had interest reciprocated. It is what it is. Used to feel quite bitter. Had a lot of issues growing up. Therapy helped massively and moving out of home. I do live in hope but however without sounding melodramatic have kind of accepted that this is it for me.

dramaqueen

Same I guess. I mean, I've never wanted kids so I guess I don't have that whole pressure at least. But the things we are told are just meant to happen in life...just haven't.

And it's like every time I try to take steps towards them, i'm shot backwords again.

I'm kinda used to it just being me and my own company.

But lately I've started to think how i would have loved to at least have one nice romance in my life. I think what I feel missing the most is tenderness.

Pp that mentioned Melanie Tonia Evans on narcissists, I love her stuff! I recommended her a lot myself!

@Pinkbonbon ditto regarding kids. I have my siblings kids who I love to the moon and back. I do get asked don’t you want kids and get some shocked faces when I say no. Don’t get me wrong I love kids and I suppose till about 10 years ago I was 50/50 but more leaning towards not wanting them. And as time has gone past I don’t want children. Simple as. The best is when people look at me and think I am bat shit crazy and are convinced I don’t know what I want and I will either change my mind or regret it when I met the right man. Errrrrr no.

But I am so with you. Just want one romance in my life and I will die a happy woman!!

But sorry @Fixedterm to take over your thread. 30 is young in my eyes. You have plenty of time to do relationships and kids but as I said before I seriously suggest you move out.