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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New marriage- stuck, confused and I want to leave

0 replies

2017L · 10/02/2020 21:31

I have very recently told my husband that I need space, and he has moved out. We have only been married for 6 months although we have been together for close to ten years and we have a toddler son together. I had doubts about us before the wedding but naively thought we could work things out once married.

Since having our son I feel I have grown considerably as a mum and my husband in turn has not. He does have a good relationship with our son but I often feel like I am doing the brunt of the “parenting”. I do a lot with our son and absolutely love spending time with him but my husband very rarely goes out of his way to do things with him or us a family, and that has really disappointed me. He isn’t being the kind of dad I envisioned him being and it’s drastically turned me off him.
We also don’t have sex, don’t really spend much time together and I often feel invisible, I have fallen out of love for him. I care about him deeply but feel I have outgrown him and can’t see myself being with him forever.
Since the convo about separating he is heartbroken and shocked, which is something that frustrates me because the issues that have gotten us to this point have been brought up to him on several occasions with no changes made, so what did he think would happen??

My dilemma is, family and friends really want me to make the effort to fall back In love with him and give him the opportunity to make things better, but I feel like I’ve completely checked out and am struggling with the idea of “trying”.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and what did you do?

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