Secretly in love with someone

[InlovewithaboynamedElvis]

I have fallen for someone. He is single. Not sure of the line between crush/love/limerence.

We know each other, he is very quiet and shy but always friendly. I don't know how to get him out of my mind.

Are you single?

yes

Can't get him out of my mind. Don't think he is interested in a relationship. He has the opportunity. It is possible that he tried to create a chance for us to spend time together (he suggested we do something)and I said no (didn't realise at the time).

Well I don't really understand then. Are you too shy to ask him out?

petrified.

Just cannot get him out of my mind.

So why don’t you ask him for a coffee / drink ?

Can’t you just message him and say “Oh hey, you know that thing you wanted to do, I’ve decided that I quite fancy it now, shall we go to this one?”

Also calm down, he’s a mere mortal. There’s no need to get this giddy or ridiculous. Just get the ball rolling.

@QueenOfPain I am giddy - I keep saying a hundred and one things to myself to knock some sense in but it just goes nowhere.

I blame the menopause.

@QueenofPain however your plan is a good one which I will think about.

@Double3exposure

friends have invited him out with us in a group. he has told one of them that he is shy and only came out when there was another bloke there. That guy has gone now and he has retreated back into his shell. I tried to talk to him last night when I saw him and he chatted away for a few minutes then said he had to go as it was too cold (we were outside). He just left it with nice catching up with you.

I sound about 16. I feel about 15.

You sound about 14!

If you're too shy to ask each other out and you're in the same social circle, things'll develop on their own. If you're meant to be together, you won't have to do something that petrifies you (like asking him out), it'll just happen. Different if you're not in the same social circle though - I'm assuming that's the case.

And this is not love. Which is not to say it might not end up being love.

@Eckhart when it comes to the affairs of the heart I have the experience and emotional maturity of a 14 yr old, sadly.

No, not in same social circles - neither of us are socially active atm. Work demands, mostly.

Think I will leave it and if something happens another way then all good and well. If he wanted to do something, I 'm sure he would. I think most guys do if they want to.

@Eckhart no, it's not love, but I could see this becoming something very solid. There is something I really like about his nature. Don't normally feel this.

Oh for goodness sake. Woman up. Send him a text.

@Dwum Ha! And say what?

Send him a valentines card
And sign it.

Job done

It's a leap year. Ask him to marry you on leap day.

@otterhound Yes, I could do that. Not sure if I am that brave.

Just 'hey you, fancy going for a drink after work?' Or lunch.

Don't over complicate it, seriously

only came out when there was another bloke there.

I'm sorry, but that is absolutely pathetic. Find someone with a spine!

Yes, leap year! Perhaps that's my chance.

Or just try and stop thinking about him. You would think it gets easier as you get older but I think your resistance is weaker, not stronger

@Bezalelle yes, there is no doubt he is a work in progress.