Advice please am I wrong !
So me and my BF now ex were together for 5 and half years , we don't live together anymore as he can't cope with any form of confrontations or dispute without becoming defensive or abusive towards me ... we have had issues in the past where he has had issues with how my grown up kids have been and he said I never back him up .. just trivial stuff really like flushing the loo but he stressed his point to the point it was over bearing even though I would pull my kids ... older kids have now flown the nest and me and BF have a child together he is 3 and I have a 16 year old from a previous relationship .. anyway my ex is still married and never divorced from his wife he hasn't seen her for 13 years but every time he's back at his dads he seems to be in contact because when he returned to mine she seems to phone or message him even at 2 am in the morning , baring in mind two years ago when drunk he said her name to me during intimate times ... which I forgive him ... so I found some messages recently she had been asking could she call and she messages him so I pulled him on this baring in mind the history and he said she's a friend and he holds nothing for her he sort of feels obliged because he married on Thailand and brought her to the UK so if and when she calls him it's every so often ... this woman is in her 30s and been perfectly fine on her own and now lives in London .. my issue is he deleted messages " he said he deleted them because I make a mountain out of a molehill he said I am not controlling him and he will speak to who he pleases he then starts to call me names such as fatty things ugly , calls me names about my private parts because he said I get him angry I then ended the relationship and he becomes more abusive I haven't seen him for 8 days now but he stills says I am in the wrong as there's nothing in it
Was I wrong for calling him out on the messages