In a relationship that I think is at its end.

[HollyJenni]

I will try to keep it brief.
I am 34 this year, OH turns 46. We have been together 10 years
We rent together, his son lives with us 5 nights a week and we have a little girl aged 3.
We get on so well but we are growing apart I know it.
He doesn't like the fact I am quite outgoing and that I like to have banter with people on twitter etc (he denies this)
He doesn't like the fact that I'm working quite a lot over weekends when he now doesn't ( I work part time so the little one can go to school nursery and stuff) and I'm also studying as well.
I don't have a social life, I rarely even see my family. If I do go out at all, I feel compelled to constantly message him.
He is very insecure generally as he has cheated a lot in the past.
The main crux of why we had a temp split last year was because of our sex life.
When I say it's non existent it would be an understatement
We do stuff but very rarely and I just don't feel that attraction anymore. It's not fair on him that I just don't want to and he does try to make an effort around the house but I do feel very stretched at the moment and as if I'm just existing.
To top it all off, a guy who comes in to the shop I work in has sort of in a roundabout way indicated that he might be interested in me. I cant explain but since I first met him about 2 years ago, there is a real spark there. He is basically everything I could want on paper and the chemistry is undeniable.
Me and the OH are giving it one last shot and I would never cheat on him and my daughter means the absolute world to me so I don't want to ruin her life but I do feel I would be better off by myself at times.
Can anyone offer advice or anything please? I can't exactly message people because I know he goes through my phone x

I don't think you'd be ruining your daughter's life if you split up. You say you and your OH are giving it one last shot... what are you doing differently, whilst you do this? And was that a decision prompted by him or you?

You mention this other man. All I would say is that I think it would be unwise to factor him into any decisions you make. The risk is it will cloud your decision-making and you may, in your head, rely on him being available, when, to my mind he sounds more like a pleasant daydream - mental escapism is fine in it's own way but not helpful if you have expectations which might come to nothing. You say you think at times you'd be better off by yourself but have you thought what the reality of that looks like?

I'm not saying you should stay with your OH rather than do nothing; rather, just try to be realistic about what the future might look like on your own.

Finally, he goes through your phone?? Does he think you might have an affair/s because he has?

Yeah he does go through my phone and I think always has done. He has an issue with me having male friends as well. I do have two close female friends but I have always got on well with lads and I love football and that is just a very male orientated sport.
He is very insecure and always has been. I think the fact he is a bit older than me always makes him wonder if he is enough.
I am trying to make more of an effort in the bedroom and he said he is going to try and make more of an effort to spend more quality time.
The other guy is literally nothing, the only issue I have with him is that I get the whole knot in my stomach when I see him and stuff.
I was looking into a place to live last week and was convinced I was going to go it alone