My oh and I got together and 1 year later rapidly got pregnant with dc1 followed by dc2 under 2 years, youngest now is 15 months. We always had an amazing sex life ubntil I was about 6 months pregnant with my dc2.
Pre kids we went out lots, always were together with friends. Now we both work and struggle to spend time together.he has to go out a lot of nights entertaining with work which he has a love hate relationship with. He loves a drink but also that puts pressure on us.he doesn't need to drink as much as he does. 6 months pregnant with dc2 I told him I had enough because I didn't know how to shake him into shape-I was working full time and he was out all the time coming back wasted and the final straw was vomiting in our bed and waking up dc1.
He says that was the turning point for him and even though I worked hard to repair things he never felt secure again in our relationship
We now dance between being happy and being a disaster
This weekend his mates came over
I cooked everything ahead in the evenings when he was out with work so there was no stress on the weekend. I made cakes and home made chocolates and cocktails etc to make it perfect bc his friends are so important to him and I wanted it to be a success
On Saturday he got out of be, ate breakfast and went back to bed. He then woke up and said he needed a sauna. I told him ok !(kept it breezy!) suggested he go to the gym just after I nipped there for 30ins
I same back he had gone out and didn't pick up his phone
20 mins later he tells me he is at the park with our kids
It's 5 and guests coming at 7.30
I went down to join him and said it's unlikely he has time to go to have a sauna now
He said -I think I'll go after the kids go down at 7
I then said what!!! But we need tidy up before your friends come
He then had this demonic smile on his face like I told him the best news and said
There it is -I knew you
Couldn't be nice.i knew all the time you did nice things I'd have to pay for it
!
I told him to go out and do his thing I didn't want a fight
He came back at 7.15 and said he didn't like himself
Anymore and needs to sort himself out.i reassure him it's ok, you've been drinking on the trot with work you're shattered. Then his mates came over and he was alive again-laughing having an amazing time not wanting the night to end
Next day -I can't cope, this is horrendous.i suggest for his bday we go away for a night.he says yes with friends would be great.
He never ever instigates sex nor wants it when I suggest it
What oh WHAT do I do?
Last night he sat on the sofa as he does every night saying he is stressed from work and wants to "zone out" and he stayed there after. I Went up to bed because I get up before him for work
Am I trying too hard ? I woke up feeling so low and confused. It's like he was looking for me to be bad and didn't want us to have a nice weekend. He says there is no one else. But what is this about?
Today I've hardly heard from him other than texts about admin and one line responses when I really thought he may apologise