Advice please

[Mommatotwoboys]

My husband of 24 years cheated last year but denied it. I gave him another chance when he begged to stay. I expected an apology and admission of why he did it but he still denies. He is constantly requesting 3sums and because I don’t want to expects me to compromise with ‘chat’. It’s never good enough and ends up being an argument most weeks. He’ll say stuff like, be a wife, it’s just sex, and when you are in a shithole with boys you can only look in the mirror and ask yourself why you couldn’t just make your husband happy.
Why am I still here? I have no family and about to start a new job. I guess it’s fear of not being able to look after the boys properly alone. Feeling worthless with zero confidence and absolutely broken at what I have lost. If you e read this far - thank you, I’d really appreciate your advice.

Your situation sounds awful and your H is abusive.
Please start making plans yo get away from him with your DC. He should not be asking for threesomes when you clearly are not interested.
You are worth much more than this.

Are you financially able to leave?
'Cause, seriously...he's a prick.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who demands you?

• demeans!

Thank you. I guess I need to ‘man up’ and deal with the situation as it is, rather than try to hold onto what once was.

I think I would be. I just need to wait until I’ve been in my new job 6 months (i think) to have a mortgage on my own.

What an absolute worthless prick he is. Tell him to fuck off and die.

I’m honestly crushed at what he’s become. He was never this person.

God he sounds awful. Sorry you’re stuck with him for the time being. Bide your time, make your plan and let him fuck off and find someone else to pester for threesomes. If that’s honestly what he thinks constitutes being a wife he will find himself very disappointed.

So none of you think I should make more of an effort to give him the chat he needs...? In my gut I know it’s just wrong on all levels but there’s this boggle whenever I think of the boys that I should make more effort to keep us altogether

Absolutely not. You'd be demeaning yourself massively, and this is obviously not any kind of chat you wish to take part in.

Honestly, you need to make your escape plan and leave him to his fantasies.

when you are in a shithole with boys you can only look in the mirror and ask yourself why you couldn’t just make your husband happy.

How about "when you're in a place of your own without a sex pest making you do things you're uncomfortable with, you'll ask yourself why you ever entertained the idea of pleasing this unfaithful, disrespectful wanker."

He thinks you can't do better than him. You can. Being on your own is better than being with him and there are plenty of other men who are also better than him too, so you don't have to accept this because he makes the alternative sound so bleak.

Just because he happened to be the one you had DCs with, doesn't mean you have to stick with him when he's so vile.

"Chat" is fine if you're both into it - my DP and I talk about all sorts in the moment, that we would never dream of doing in real life - but if its not doing anything for you (and more importantly he WON'T CARE that its not doing anything for you!) its just gross.

Oh OP, he's sexually abusing you. He's a bully. He's trying to coerce you into threesomes and sex chats.

You really need to start planning your exit strategy. Please get some support and get away from him.

He's just going to get worse and worse. Do you want this to be your life and do you want your sons to have him as a role model? He's a scumbag OP.

He is a revolting cheat and emotional abuser who violates your sexual boundaries. Please leave him as soon as possible. This is a toxic relationship model to show your sons.