Stay or go? Help me!

[mustpaintthatwall]

Should I stay or go?

Quick background been with OH 7 years, have 3YO and have just had an offer accepted in a house.

OH has gradually become more & more awful over the past couple of years, I think tonight might be the last straw. He threw a plastic bowl at my head (he says above it 🤷🏻‍♀️) it didn't hit me. Reason - when he asked if I could tail someone (watching police drama) I said women have a sixth sense, you just know -in a jokey way, then returned to watch TV he started talking but I didn't hear so he flew off the handle saying I was ignorant, vile. & competitive.

This is just the last in a long row of ridiculous arguments, not long ago he walked out for 2 nights because I put my daughter to bed before ordering a takeaway & so it was too late to eat once I was out (no reason he couldn't have ordered) also went crazy once because there was no food in & he refused to do the shop on his weekend off (daughter had chicken pox so I wasn't able to go & when I suggested online he told me I was lazy - I work a 5 day week in 4 so super busy & pretty stressful)

Now the reason I'm not sure is, we live in my flat I want a house and a garden for my daughter & a good school for her, we won't if I stay where we are. Also I'm not sure financially I can manage as stupidly I took a loan out in my name to clear his debts which he gives me the cash for but no doubt won't if we split up.

Also where would I even start, I'm a bit lost, depressed and needing a bit of help.

Thanks x

Yes, you leave. Do not buy a house with him! Next time he'll make sure it hits you - your child won't care about her house or school, but she will be affected if her mother is being abused

You know the answer.

Seeing her mum being abused is a very high price for your dd to pay for a house with a garden. I think she’d much rather have a safe and happy childhood.

If it’s your flat and you’re not married then you have all the power. If necessary you can wait till he’s out, put his stuff on the doorstep and change the locks.

A safe happy stable home will be the right foundation for your daughter's future - and yours. What good is a house and a garden if the person you live there with is angry, violent, unpredictable and potentially dangerous. If you're not married and it's your home then he leaves and you change the locks. You only then need to communicate with him about matters relating to your daughter.

His behaviour is not normal or acceptable.

home is made up of who is inside. If the new house with a nice garden isn’t full of love and happiness it’s just not worth it. I’m in a very similar position right now and trying to make the same kind of decision. Happy to chat if you like. Be strong, listen to your gut and go with it. I think we put up with too much for our kiddies, but actually they are suffering the affects anyway.

“He threw a plastic bowl at my head....”
Get help & get out.
The most important thing you can give your daughter is a safe & loving home.

Just leave now before its too late. Not just for your daughter but yourself.
You deserve better