Would you end this before it’s began?

[User273993]

We’ve had 5 dates and I’ve just found this out (topics of ex’s came up). We are both mid thirties. His last relationship was short, 12 months, but they moved in after 6.

He’s assured me that it’s over although it wasn’t his decision and in his words he was ‘gutted’ when it ended. He’s said he’s increasingly excited about us and wants to give it a go. I feel this too and haven’t done for a few years

Throw in the towel or give it a chance?

Sorry should have said the main point which is his relationship ended in mid December, we met mid jan

Why??

I mean, id take it slowly, but what's he done wrong?

Because it’s too soon? They last spoke on 20 jan (he volunteered this info) but just to say happy new year.

Worried I’m a rebound

It’s only been 5 dates, just take things slow and have fun. A 12 month relationship isn’t massive in the grand scheme of things.

Just keep an eye out for red flags and if you spot any, run!

Every relationship happens after the previous one ends. So in a sense each new one starts as a rebound.

Take is slowly as any new relationship. And don’t be this jumpy.

Depends, him saying he was gutted isn't good at all.

Me and ex ended December and he's still trying to contact me even though he's dating others.
Says I'm the love of his life and can't cope without me.
I feel Extremely sorry for the women he is stringing along because they aren't aware of this.
Unless there's dc's they is no need for them to be in contact the fact he admitted he would still be with her is also is concerning.

Are you sure he's not love bombing you?

I certainly wouldn’t say he’s love bombing me. He seems sincere but who knows.

I get the sense he’d run back if she wanted him. Tho he’s said to me that’s not what he wants anymore but residual feelings are still there

4 weeks seems too quick to move on for me personally and I'd see it as a rebound especially if they lived together. What does your gut tell you? It's usually right

I guess it could be rebound. Im not sure how you'd tell. I certainly wouldnt be moving in or making big declarations or promises for a while, but no harm having a good time

Gut says he likes me and us but he still not fully over it. They only lived together 4.5 months so didn’t think it was a huge deal. I’m not sure

Look, just don't go in with both feet at this stage. It's easy to go all in if you're on the rebound, but at the same time there's nothing wrong with having some fun and getting to know each other and seeing where it leads.

I was 100% on the rebound when I met my current partner, I just wanted to feel like I wasn't on my own. It might not have worked, but luckily we really clicked, he helped me a lot, and if anything we're a much better couple than me and my ex ever were. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I guess.

You can't put a time on things. Some people are ready to date right away, others don't want to for years. One thing I would make sure of though is that there is definitely no chance they'll get back together. That would be tough on you if it happened.

I imagine he also will want to take things slow tbh.

Sometimes its rebound and sometimes you just meet someone you click with and the timings weird

That’s the thing, how can I know that for sure?

He’s not love bombing at all. He’s not pushy.

So just take your time with it like everyone is saying. You can't know for sure yet. Good judgement takes time.
Are you worried about giving it too long for some reason, e.g. wanting kids?

Op I think you made think love bombing works in one way.
My ex was very kind, thoughtful, supported when a family member got ill right at the beginning. It wasn't obvious, it just seemed like I was dating a good guy.

Are you sure it was that short, they didn't live together longer or were together longer?
How many men say there baby mother hot pregnant from a one night stand, when in fact they were together longer.

You really shouldn't be feeling this troubled so early on.

You'll never know anything for sure. But you can get the details of why they split, and try and ascertain how likely it is they might see each other again. Is he comfortable telling you what happened? Could you speak to her to see how she feels about him now? Has she moved on to anyone else? May as well get as much info as possible if you're worried.

We’ve talked about it. He said he didn’t want to end it but as time has passed he does see it wasn’t all great. He’s said he has no intention of rekindling anything.

They spoke a month ago, very short exchange just how are yous and that was that. She’s since blocked him on social media (not WhatsApp) and has apparently ignored him in the street when he all but bumped into her a week ago.

It’s clear he likes me but I also don’t think he’s totally over this. I can’t deny how I feel tho so early on - he’s right we do have something good between us. He wants to see where that goes.

There's always got to be one person who ends the relationship and the other person is always likely to be upset by it. It's not unusual to be gutted when something ends.

I'm sure he'd also be gutted if you ended things. That doesn't mean he's head over heels and that he wouldn't move on.

If he likes you and you like him, what's the harm? Give it a chance.

It took me 6 months to get over the guy I was seeing before this one. We were only together 5 months but I was quite heartbroken. However, now I can't even remember what I saw in him and really enjoying getting to know the guy I'm seeing though I'm taking things very slowly this time.

Just enjoy it but be careful and take things very slowly.

Everyone moves on at their own pace but generally people move on a lot quicker if they were the ones who ended it and they feel fine about their decision. Saying he was gutted it ended is quite telling and I think he’s probably moved on too quickly.

I sense he’s tried to move on too fast but I can also tell we have a good thing so far.

I suppose everything is a risk really. I’ve never been broken up with (well not since I was 20) but I can see it is a bigger thing for the one who didn’t end it