My short marriage is crumbling...

[YouCantBuildWithCrumbs]

I'm not sure what I'm looking for but I have no one I can really talk to in RL. I've NCd as I don't want this linked with my usual username.

So I've been with DH for 6 years, married 18 months with a 3yo DD. Now let me start by saying DH is a good man, he's hard working, selfless and a brilliant Dad but we just don't seem to be getting on.

We've always bickered over petty things but over the past few months it's constant. He often doesn't listen, doesn't take any of the mental load and just doesn't think sometimes. I nag a lot, complain and nothing he does seems to be good enough/right. I do give him a hard time but after 6 years, I'd of thought he would just do/know certain things.

Last night we squabbled in bed over the TV, I wanted to buy an amazon stick, he didn't. It escalated and he ended up calling me a 'fucking boring cow'. He does this when we argue, he gets angry and calls me something and gets personal. I told him how dare he call me something so horrible again and why does he always make it personal? He blames me, saying that all I do is complain and push him to say these things.

We went to sleep without saying anything more and I still haven't spoken to him properly. I feel like I've checked out. I'm not enjoying his company and everything he does irritates me. He knows this and thinks I've caught "the ick".

I don't know what to do. I honestly think we'd have split up by now if it wasn't for our DD. I don't know how to fix things. I dont even know if I even want to or if I'm still just angry. I don't know if I genuinely want to end things or just being dramatic because I'm hurt and angry

We can't afford counciling, we're barely making ends meets so that is not an option.

Do you love him, OP?

My son and his wife did this. They decided to go to counselling and it's worked a treat but they have to follow the counselling rules but they've been together about 6 years now and it really worked for them.

It sounds like you are both stuck in a rut. It’s easy for this to happen when you are both working, both tired and are struggling financially. It can make life pretty draining and depressing. Yes he didn’t say some very nice things, but it sounds like it wasn’t particularly one sided. I know that I can be a bit of a nag in our marriage, I will pick on things that probably don’t even need to be picked on, my dh takes offence and although he would never say anything nasty to me, I know he gets frustrated with me.
Perhaps you need to find a spark again. Is there any chance for some couple time? To go out and watch a film or do something fun? I know how hard this is because we have no family nearby and rarely go out. But we will have a takeaway and watch a film indoors and have a proper chat.
I think you’ve got to work out of it’s just life that’s got the better of you both, or if you genuinely think that you would rather be without him. Counselling would be the best bet, I know you said you couldn’t afford it but it might be a necessity you could perhaps budget for?

I think this could be salvageable OP if you're both prepared to put the effort in. Could you look into a marriage course? If there's one running near you it would be a lot cheaper than counselling.