Suspecting your husband may be gay

[Chester1980]

I think that my husband of two years may be gay. It’s a nagging feeling. I think it’s something he may not have admitted to himself - possibly to please his parents.

I have gently approached him about it, but I get nothing back. In that he would say to not be ridiculous. I wouldn’t say he’s homophobic, but he comes from a background where it would be frowned upon. He is someone who seems a bit angry with the world. I am the opposite, at least I was at the start of our relationship.

Philip Scofield coming out is probably what has pushed me in the direction of posting this. Are there any other people who suspected their partner was gay? If so, what was behind those suspicions? How did you approach it?

Hi, I suspect my partner is gay/ bi as I saw a text on his phone from a man and they had been meeting up for " cock fun " . A couple of years later he had his emails link to a tablet in the house and he was using craigslist to look at the m4m section and was arranging to meet a man from there ( I dont think they met, but the intention was there).
There have been a couple of other things too, but according to him I'm just being silly and need to move on from that as it's in the past. Ohh also possibly Tmi but he doesn't seem too interested in sexual intercourse with me, he is more concerned with being pleasured.

@Chester1980 you don't give any reasons why you think he is gay though? Other than him seeming angry at the world - and there are plenty of men and women who are just angry and negative people and it has nothing to do with sexuality.
What makes you think he is?

@SSDD86 I'm sorry, but your husband is gay. And a liar. And a cheat. I would get yourself down to a sexual health clinic, then to a solicitor and leave the man!

@SSDD86 are you planning on staying with him? I would say.your hubby is definitely gay by the sounds of it.

There have been a couple of posters with (quite significant) pointers there their DH was gay - in both cases they denied til blue in the face ... One was already separated, the other sounded like she was going to stay in spite of evidence (he was gas lighting, denying and arguing around intricacies re. a spectrum of sexuality, which was also fluid, so apparently he had at one point been not 100% hetero but had moved on the spectrum and was now 🤔).
The poster had been with him since very young, adored him and was quite naive .. she sounded like she was going to continue in spite of accidentally hearing a hookup between him and another man that he passed off as an ordinary, incidental conversation in a car park.

What I'm trying to say rather long windedly is don't expect any honesty or openness - cause there's a good chance you won't get any now/for a long time/at all.

I'd say your instincts are going off for a good reason. Instincts are usually correct.

I'd also point out that you don't have to prove anything - you have the right to end the relationship based on it not meeting your requirements/making you happy etc.

I should add the first poster's ex DH was possibly asexual, rather than homosexual; it was unclear. He's made her very unhappy and really fucked with her head (the only part of her he fucked with really) for a long time.

Agree with Gilbert, they are never (rarely?) honest and unlikely to admit, possibly due to shame, family, friends etc, especially if they are from days when it was less accepting.

Possibly not admit until it's convenient for them. They rather live a lie, fake it if they can and drag everyone into it.