Over-the-top or normal flirting ?

[Usemyname123]

I'm so out of touch and have no idea what's just flirting and what's a bit much, apologies if I offend anyone.
I know it should only be too much if I find it too much and maybe I do.
I've exchanged 4 messages with a guy in his 30s on Bumble, started talking to him tonight.
My last message was 15 short lines, his must be 40 in return.
He's said, 'maybe one day I can show you around X area :p'
And, 'maybe you can teach me Spanish and i'll teach you some boxing ;)'
He's finished the essay by telling me that he has his own blog with ideas for first dates (which I think is a nice idea !) and then he's put 'i'm very silly aren't I'.

Does it sound a bit OTT or am i just being harsh ? Maybe hes just very overexcited but I don't like it when they make (even hypothetical) plans when you've exchanged 2 messages.

Red flag for me. Too much too soon.

That's what my instincts are telling me. Either seems to be that or they don't reply/not that bothered. Why can't it be something between the two 😅

It can be but not with this person. Block and move on.

I think I will just unmatch.. I do see it as a bad sign

Wow. I see absolutely no problem with anything he has written. I'm guessing you're one of those people who likes to exchange messages for weeks before meeting. Which is fine, but makes it all the more sad when you finally meet having made a real connection only to find there is zero chemistry.

I see no problem either 🤷🏼‍♀️ Maybe a tactic of short messages back and forth didn’t work so he’s throwing everything in. Also agree on the meeting I spoke to someone for months and met him and was not attracted at all. My bf asked me out after 4 messages

I would block him just for using the word 'silly' 🤷🏼‍♀️

Very harsh responses. I opened the thread thinking you were going to say he'd sent some sort of cringey double entendre like "I had melon salad for lunch. Oooh I love a good pair of melons 😜😜"

I had melon salad for lunch. Oooh I love a good pair of melons

Not had time to read the thread but I must try that line sometime.

He responded within a reasonable time frame and showed interest, yes major red flags there

Hard to tell without the whole message, but a lot of what you quote sounds like a bit of a sales pitch without really having a conversation.

Literally impossible for guys to win it seems. They don't message with any thought and they aren't bothered. They message too much and they're 'red flags'.

Nothing wrong with his reply.

This place gets madder. Poor bloke.

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me! But if you're not keen on someone who is keen on you, then move on.

I can't see a problem.

My teenagers frown upon it but I like someone who uses full sentences, even in text.

Brevity is for teens and the days we had 60 character limit.

Thank you, maybe I am just being harsh. It's just that he's replied with 5 paragraphs, I am always wary when a guy seems very overexcited and overly keen before they even meet you, that's all. I do want someone who shows an interest, but maybe i'm just being difficult.

Just be aware that he could be copying and pasting from his vast collection of flirting messages.

If there’s nothing particularly personal in there, I’d be worried.

Some people are just like this.

We haven't seen the messages. Trust your instincts if it feels too much.

When I started messaging my partner of 18 months our messages were really long and chatty one if my very early messages went longer than the maximum word count on tinder 😂. He said it was a breath of fresh air to speak to someone who didn't just give a few words in an answer.
We still chat away over lots of tea. I don't think it's necessarily a red flag .

He's literally just being nice and friendly.

@conduitoffortune that was exactly my first thought! But I cannot for the life of me explain why I had such a reaction to it.

I was basing my admittedly harsh response on my own experience of having over the top flirting that became life changing narcissist bully. I didn’t listen to my gut in the early days. Always go with your gut, not what responses online tell you.
This man may just be keen and there’s nothing wrong with that !
And there’s nothing wrong with being silly sometimes either !
Just go with your gut.