What's his game?

[shakiwulub9]

Back in the summer I was dating a guy, who seemed very sweet, said all the right things, did all the right things, and gave me that excited spark feeling whenever I even saw his name pop up on my phone! I felt like a teenager again. We would enjoy days and nights together and we had a real laugh together.

He called things off because he had plans to go and work abroad, and said that he would find it too difficult to work out a LDR, that he felt the easiest thing to do would be to call things off before either of us got in any deeper.
This broke my heart, but I respected his decision and wished him well.

This week, I received a message from him out of the blue, asking me how I am, what I'm up to, how work is going etc? Naturally I had my guard up, but he never hurt me or did me wrong, so I wasn't cold towards him. Since Friday evening we have been talking constantly, catching up on each other's lives over the last 6 months. Yesterday he said to me he would really like to see me again, and that "we should do something together again soon! x" - today I have heard from him, once, a short, to the point message with no x's or anything.

It has messed with my head so much.

What's his game? 😔

He told me the foreign move is no longer happening

He's been playing the field, he's single again and here you are. So if he never moved, why did he cut contact for 6 months? What an arse. Please don't go there. He will have a pile of excuses ready.

he’s playing with you. I wouldn’t contact him again. If he really wanted to be with you no matter where his work took him you could have made it work. He chose not to even try

Thank you both. I thought as much 😔
I didn't even acknowledge what he actually said in today's message, I just replied with "I don't understand you" and left it at that. I had to say something. He's read that and hasn't replied (😂) - I don't want to be messed around, and I feel insulted that he feels like he can.

Well played shaki, well played.

Now block.

He is testing the waters to see if you are still receptive to him. He is 'fishing'.

Do you know if this foreign move was legitimate?

In this situation, it's best to focus on how it's making you feel. If you feel confused and your head has been messed with, don't engage anymore.
He's put you down and then seeing if he can pick you up again.

You don't owe him anything.

You're absolutely right - at the end of the day, he leaves me feeling confused and muddled. If he was really "sorry" about breaking contact with me, he would be doing all he could to make me regain my trust in him/"us".

It's just very difficult not take it personally as if it's a reflection of me 😔

I also agree he's been playing you. The foreign move may well have been a total lie and a cover for whatever his real reason was for breaking it off (wanted to play the field/already was playing the field). Whatever he was up to clearly hasn't panned out for him so is sniffing around you again. Do not entertain him.

When did you get the first message? If it's Friday/Saturday evening perhaps he was tipsy and nostalgic

Thank you all so much for your input. I really appreciate it, and it looks like we are all thinking the same thing.

Initially I did decide that the whole "moving abroad" business was just one big cover up for him to ditch me and go off and play the field. At the same time, his best friend moved abroad and successfully started a new life there, so I don't doubt it appealed to him.

He told me that the move didn't work out because his visa didn't get approved due to having a criminal record, and the certain things on it (what exactly I'm not sure, this should have been a red flag in itself, really...!! 😂), but I still think it was just a convenient excuse to go and see if the grass was greener ...

I have drafted, and am tempted to send him, a message telling him exactly what I think of him and how it/he has made me feel. What's there to lose? The last thing I want is for him to feel as if I am an option which is disposable, and at his convenience. I think I've been too forgiving! He hasn't thought twice about making it known how he feels about me, so it's only fair that I take the opportunity to tell him vice versa...? But at the same time, is it really worth it?

Don't msg him again. He's already got into your head again and now he's wasting your time. Throw this one back into the sea. Most of these people know what they are doing but they do not care. Don't let him think you care. Move on lass and don't look back.kust block to stop yourself from messaging him.

Just*

Dont message him again.

www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/telling-them-all-about-themselves-why-its-not-your-job-to-list-their-flaws-and-crimes/

I wouldn’t message him. It will bother him
Much more if you just ignore and block. Then it leaves him hanging just like he has with you!

I wouldn't block him as even that is a......thing. I would ignore all messages. He's a player.

He met someone else and has been seeing them for six months. That hasn't worked for some reason, so he wants fall back girl until he meets someone else.

Always judge someone by their actions. If someone is really keen and doesn't want to lose you, they don't disappear for six months.

Just block him. Block his social media, block his email. Move on.