Any advice welcome.
My husband of 10 years left the family home last week saying he’s really depressed and has suicidal thoughts. He said he’s been feeling like this for a while and he has now tipped over the edge. He was very upset and uncontrollably crying. He said he needs to move out for a little bit to clear his head and get help so he can come back and be a family again. I suggested staying at his dads for the weekend while he’s away so he has the house to himself and can get some peace and relax. It’s now been just over a week and he’s still not back, but he’s still saying he wants to be with me and come back home, he’s just not ready to. He’s also been to the doctors and been put on anti depressants and got appointments with therapists. One of which he’s already attended. But he says he’s not been to work and he’s just staying in everyday and not even watching telly or anything.
I do speak to him everyday and he says he’s feeling the same but he’s not crying anymore so I think the tablets maybe taking the edge off.
In the meantime, I am at home with our children, our 6 year old is a type 1 diabetic and we also have an 18 month old baby so that’s hard enough, but to top it off I am also pregnant and I get induced in 2 weeks so I’m terrified of what’s going to happen.
I have tried being supportive as possible and checking in on him and letting him know I’m here, but a part of me if feeling a bit angry that I have just been left on my own with the kids, and I have a few problems going on in my pregnancy and also can’t walk anywhere as I have terrible back problems through pregnancy. I’m finding it really hard looking after our kids alone, because I’m suffering a lot with the pregnancy. (It’s all pregnancy related problems). He was always a big help with the kids, especially in these last few weeks of my pregnancy.
He just keeps saying he’s trying to get better before the baby is born so he can come home, but I know it’s not just going to be that easier and his mental health will improve in such a short amount of time.
I do feel like I’m being selfish even being a little bit annoyed with him because I know he’s going through a bad time. However, I’m also going through a bad time doing it all alone and it’s also affecting my mental health, maybe a lot more to do with pregnancy hormones but I just feel like I can’t cope, but I can’t just run off to look after myself as I’ve got to think of my children.
What can I do? Should I just shut up and wait for him to get better? Am I being selfish?
Sometimes I worry he might never come back.