Some context: Have been with my boyfriend for fifteen months. Was perfect at first but recently his depression has been worse, and he has shown little interest in me, sex or the relationship. We’ve talked about it and I’ve really struggled because he seemed to have fun with friends but not me. But he told me that really nothing was fun, he just felt empty. I urged him to get help, he’s been to the GP, higher dose of ADs, still reluctant to get talking therapy. I’m feeling torn between wanting to support him but also that he isn’t trying to combat it enough, and he still doesn’t seem into our relationship.
So tonight: I was having early dinner with a friend (who was going to a birthday party afterwards) and had agreed that I’d join him later in the evening- either while he was out with friends or at his place if he was already home. I got a message from him while I was having dinner that his phone was dying. Replied to ask where he was, no response though the message went through (two ticks on WhatsApp). Later when I was ready to join, I messaged again then called- message went through and phone rang (no answer) so definitely on, I guessed he must be at home and have charged it. Go to his, only to be told by his flatmate that he’s out at the pub still, and which pub (I didn’t know because his plans hadn’t been certain). Obviously that was a bit humiliating and I just decided to go home instead of going to the pub in a foul mood and surprising him.
I am really angry. Presumably, his phone was dying, so he put it away and didn’t think to check it because he assumed it had died. But we had agreed to meet! Why didn’t he send me the number of someone he was with? Or tell me where he was? I don’t know if this is just one of those unlucky things or yet another sign that he doesn’t value me. Am I reacting emotionally because I’m unhappy anyway? Or is it reasonable to be upset?