Can't settle in a relationship

[tigerlily95]

Over 25 years ago, my dad had an affair and it was very bitter and he left us with all his stuff without telling me and my brothers and sister. My mum was so upset and cut up about it. Even though this was such a long time ago, I keep having a relationships but I never settle. I must have had about 10 relationships since then and I always find an excuse and break up with them. I can't go on anymore, I feel so depressed. My friend's laugh at me when I say I finished a relationship and say I am fussy. My brothers and sister have married and moved on but why cant I? I have ended up living with my mum as I feel she needs me. Any advice will be welcome.

You have abandonment and rejection issues because of what your father has done.

You are now (possibly) enmeshed/codependent with your mother and are a stand in for your dad.
You are doing all the rejecting in the relationships before they reject you, by the sounds of it.

You may well be suffering from Complex Ptsd. Brought on by childhood trauma. Richard Grannon/spartan life coach is good on YouTube. He highly recommends a book called From Surviving to Thriving Complex Ptsd by Pete Walker.

I think you should have some counselling and work through your father suddenly abandoning you.💐

I don’t think that there’s necessarily anything wrong with being fussy, but you’re noticing a pattern and it’s making you unhappy— that’s an amazing start. You need to get into individual counselling. What your father did was horrific, but you need to process it, heal and move in as much as you can. Don’t let someone else’s horrific actions derail your life like this.