Feeling undesired!! Help

[Sanityoutthewindow]

Hello not sure how this will come out but here goes... I have been a relationship with my dp for a couple of years now but just can’t help feeling undesired in the way I need.

When we started dating things were totally different and I felt nothing but admired and desired and made to feel beautiful in every way.
I did notice that I was nothing like his exes and this is something that has always made me question whether I am completely his type.

Fast forward to now and the compliments are a rarity or seem habitual. Dp is not a romantic but I am and crave just a little candle lit dinner or surprise flowers which obviously doesn’t happen.

I don’t have the energy anymore to dress up for outings or sexy evenings in as I just think what is the point? I enjoy getting dressed up to hang out with my gfs more.

I have spoken to him about this and he said that he does think I’m beautiful and sexy and doesn’t understand why I feel like this as he has done the most for me compared to any previous relationships.

The thing is I know the look of desire and when I look at my oh I don’t see that anymore.

We dtd often but I think it’s blocking me really letting go and enjoying it as much as I could.

What is happening? Am I just insecure?

Kind words of advice please

Hard to tell what is really going on here.
Sounds like a mixture of insecurity and possibly some less than realistic expectations on your side. Have you been in longer relationships before?
It’s normal for things to calm down after the early dating phase.
You also seem to put your self image about yourself - (feeling beautiful and desired) onto him, expecting him to prop you up somehow. It’s not healthy.

However people are different and have different love languages and needs. If yours is needing candles/dinners and pink hearts and compliments - and your partner isn’t the romantic type - then maybe you aren’t well suited for the long term and it’s better to cut your losses now.

Probably, he just misses his ex (you know, the one you slut shamed in your other thread?)

Given you're 3 months pregnant (according to your post yesterday) and you feel physically repulsed by his previous relationship to the point of vomiting (according to your post this morning) - I'd imagine he's probably reflecting your lack of desire back at you.

But going from your final paragraph in this particular story, I'm pegging your age around 14 or so. I'd recommend approaching your school pastoral care team, or getting a different hobby that doesn't involve fucking men who disagree with you about how women should comport themselves in their sexual relationship.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation oh my days - brilliant reply! Could not have said it better myself.

OP has vanished off all of her threads. I wonder why.

I also found the pregnancy and friend miscarrying one a really hard one to read and run...