I have a friend, lets call her Annie, that I've know for about 5 years. As we became closer friends, I noticed that Annie is quite selfish and self-absorbed and in the middle of last year I actually started to cool the friendship because it felt one-sided.
Then towards the end of last year she went through a fairly traumatic life event which led to her being diagnosed with anxiety and depression. She is on medication and having other treatment and I've been spending quite a lot of time with her to try and support her. However, as Annie's mental health seems to be improving, I've noticed the self-absorption again. For example, we made plans for this weekend, then she changed the day at short notice, and then she cancelled at even shorter notice with no apology. I get that she may not want to do stuff because of poor mental health and have offered to go round and see her instead or to rearrange the plans. But a 'sorry to cancel' or just some acknowledgment that she might be putting me out would have been nice.
I guess my question is, can you be a nice person who becomes completely self-absorbed due to mental illness, and therefore should I stick around as a friend? Or should I accept that actually, even in tip top mental health, she is usually going to only think of herself, and start to slowly move away from this friendship again? At the moment, I just feel a bit irritated by her lack of consideration for me.