Partner has been emotionally abusive most of our relationship, I fell pregnant just a few months in (save the judgement), now have the most wonderful baby girl. He doesn't see the error of his ways, blames me for everything, extremely possessive, has cut me off from most of my friends, constantly punishes me for mistakes I made years ago, very unsupportive during pregnancy, has pressured me for sex since 1 week after traumatic birth resulting in EMCS, you get the gist. He's generally an alright dad - has two kids from previous relationship - but is easily frustrated with baby when she's grizzly. He has laughed to me previously about a time when his other daughter was very young and wouldn't settle at night that he was winding her and "patted her too hard and really hurt her" - told me he felt terrible, but still awful? I don't trust him alone with my daughter.
A huge row has finally given me the strength to leave, I think. But I'm so lost. What do I do now? I'm on maternity leave - being paid maternity allowance (employed but had severe sickness all pregnancy plus stress of his jealousy iver me working with men resulting in me being off work for most of the pregnancy), we are both on the tenancy of a privately rented 2 bedroom flat. Am I entitled to receive help whilst I'm on maternity allowance? Will one of us have priority to stay in the property or will we have to agree on it (he would never agree to leave and has taken delight In telling me during arguments that if I leave him I'll have to leave the flat because I won't be able to pay the rent)? I don't trust him with DD alone at all, but there is no previous of physical violence from him besides once smacking my phone out of my hand. Comments he's made and what he said about his older DD concern me greatly. How will contact work? He can't afford to take me to court. Can I be legally ordered to allow him overnights? She's EBF. Will I be able to hold off overnights until she's a year?
Really looking for a hand hold as much as anything. I feel like I've failed my daughter miserably. I know I'm lucky in the grand scheme of things, but right now it feels like the world is crumbling beneath my feet. 