So it's been just over a month since I've no longer been in a relationship with the man I adored, loved, respected and believed I'd be with forever more.
It's was 7 years, that's enough time to truly know you love someone the moon and back again a million times.
We did drift away from each other and I'm still in the process of trying to understand why and how, maybe I can understand that in time to come.
I've watched tons of youtube 'how to get your ex back', Googled how on earth to love and breathe without him in my life.
I know it's doable I'm just not fully able to do it yet. I know I will and google suggests it's somewhere in between 17 months to at least half of the relationship so that could mean I have 38 months (I'm not sure if 165 weeks sounds better).
I loved this man.
I'm not sure if there is someone else, emotionally or physically, I've not asked and I don't need to know because it makes no difference.
I'm kind of doing no contact as much as I can, it's a killer and there have been some slip ups.
He is the sort to cut off. He had his shitty points and I have mine too. But we loved each other I know this. It's just that it's now over it's now done. And of course I will move in a new direction of life just as he will. But if I could possibly explain to myself how this is to be done it would help, I am doing ok but I'm still wishing I could either go back in time when none of this was on the cards or jump into the future where life is understandable.
Not really looking for advice I don't think as we will all deal differently if this happens to us. If you're going through still loving someone who you're no longer with..... let's believe it's for a reason, it will be ok, we will move forward