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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

It's just so sad when it's over isn't it

6 replies

sayalittlerayer · 06/02/2020 17:03

So it's been just over a month since I've no longer been in a relationship with the man I adored, loved, respected and believed I'd be with forever more.
It's was 7 years, that's enough time to truly know you love someone the moon and back again a million times.
We did drift away from each other and I'm still in the process of trying to understand why and how, maybe I can understand that in time to come.
I've watched tons of youtube 'how to get your ex back', Googled how on earth to love and breathe without him in my life.
I know it's doable I'm just not fully able to do it yet. I know I will and google suggests it's somewhere in between 17 months to at least half of the relationship so that could mean I have 38 months (I'm not sure if 165 weeks sounds better).
I loved this man.
I'm not sure if there is someone else, emotionally or physically, I've not asked and I don't need to know because it makes no difference.
I'm kind of doing no contact as much as I can, it's a killer and there have been some slip ups.
He is the sort to cut off. He had his shitty points and I have mine too. But we loved each other I know this. It's just that it's now over it's now done. And of course I will move in a new direction of life just as he will. But if I could possibly explain to myself how this is to be done it would help, I am doing ok but I'm still wishing I could either go back in time when none of this was on the cards or jump into the future where life is understandable.
Not really looking for advice I don't think as we will all deal differently if this happens to us. If you're going through still loving someone who you're no longer with..... let's believe it's for a reason, it will be ok, we will move forward

OP posts:
Glitterb · 06/02/2020 17:45

Why did you split up?

No contact/following social media and time is the best way to move forward. You will be fine, you just need time to heal.

restingbitchface30 · 06/02/2020 17:53

Let yourself grieve in whichever way suits you. I got out of an 8 year relationship and I won’t lie it took me about about a year to fully feel able to move on. Some people go out with their friends but I just wanted to b at home but with my best friend with me. Do what will make you happy and be selfish for a while. It’s a loss that can be as hard as a loss through death so don’t expect to be on top of the world. But you do get over it. You never think you will but you will. And there will be another person out there for you one day 😊

restingbitchface30 · 06/02/2020 17:54

Let yourself grieve in whichever way suits you. I got out of an 8 year relationship and I won’t lie it took me about about a year to fully feel able to move on. Some people go out with their friends but I just wanted to b at home but with my best friend with me. Do what will make you happy and be selfish for a while. It’s a loss that can be as hard as a loss through death so don’t expect to be on top of the world. But you do get over it. You never think you will but you will. And there will be another person out there for you one day 😊

sayalittlerayer · 06/02/2020 18:05

I know the pain is there for a reason

OP posts:
Reb4evaaa · 06/02/2020 18:58

Best way to get over him is to cut contact fully (unless you have kids, then only contact re kids and only when necessary). Make plans, join the gym, go to a class, see friends, redecorate you’re bedroom etc

Did he say why he left?

sayalittlerayer · 06/02/2020 19:27

We left each other, I think I would of stayed no matter what, I think he had more courage than me to end it.

OP posts:
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