Hi, I apologise if this is long and rambly. DS is 22 and for years we have had no end of issues with him, feel like I'm at the end of my tether and don't know what to do for the best. He hasn't worked for years and when he has had a job he loses it usually within weeks for non attendence, late attendence and being under the influence of alcohol, cannabis or both. He lost his driving license after being caught for driving uninsured ( we didn't know any of this and only found out when bailiffs came to the door for unpaid fines )
Since the age of 17 he has lied, taken alcohol from us, taken my bank card and used it, taken both of our cars whilst being unlicensed. This has resulted in both DH and I locking both keys and wallets away. He has taken mobile phones, tablets and games consoles/ games basically anything he can get to sell. He was in trouble with police a couple of years ago after stealing his friends phone.
We have confronted him SO many times both calmly and not so calmly, I have booked appointments with the GP and subsequently a counsellor to which he hasn't attended, I have offered to pay for training so he can do something he really wants to etc.
He SO angry and resentful and blames me for everything he can't do in his life, he has suffered panic attacks in the past ( I believe this was a lot to do with drinking and drug abuse or at least this hasn't helped )
Yesterday morning he arrived home, drunk and lurching all over the kitchen after telling me he had been to hospital and they suspected he had heart disease etc. I obviously tried to talk to him but he could barely string a sentence together and left him to sleep it off. When he woke later in the day he asked me what he had said to me this morning, so I answered and he started to back track saying he didn't have heart disease and had I messaged his GF ( who he was with at the time ). I said no, he was incredibly paranoid about the whole thing which caused me to think that he'd made the whole thing up.
Last night he went out and came back in with a large bottle of gin which I preceded to tip half of away, in an attempt to stop him drinking so much. He went absolutely mental, verbally very abusive, threatening and angry I asked him to leave. He did and then returned at some point later that night.
I'm at my wits end, I feel I can't tell him to go permanently he would literally be homeless as no friends or family would help out as they know how he behaves.
I don't really know what I'm asking, if there are others out there who have experienced something similar, what did you do?