How do you make friends?

[Dunin]

Just that really. I’m in my 40’s and don’t have a group of friends. I have individual friends here and there but nobody I’m very close to. I’m not sure how to do it! I thought friendships would come through the kids starting school but they haven’t. Everybody already has a group! I’m just looking for tips and hints on how to actually build a friendship group. What has worked for you.

I don't know. I'm like you....odd friends here and there but I don't seem to get included in nights out much these days.

I think it might be something to do with me not instigating things though....if I cared more about it, then I reckon if I asked a few different women 'shall we go out for a drink on X night?" then they'd come.

I can't be doing with the drama though...there always seems to be drama in groups of friends.

Maybe someone more sociable will come along and know more than me!

Intentionally spending time with people - inviting people round, spending time together etc.
Doing things in a group “I’d like to see XYZ want to come, feel free to invite others who might be interested” so a few of us go to the cinema, mostly my friends who don’t know each other, but they bring their friends so we all get to know more people
Remembering things about others, listening, being intentional - I look for people who do those things so I try and model them in my friendships too.
Widening my social circle ie joining clubs or groups, volunteering, doing an MA etc so I meet more people.
I did a lot of work on myself because I knew the places I could go to. So working on why I respond to people in a certain way and how and why I need a certain response from others.

Thanks for that advice.

Agree with @caulkheaded.
I arrange stuff, like a pub quiz and ask a variety of people. For my birthday etc I involve people from all parts of my life so now friends and family know one another and it's easy.
I'm also honest about my feelings with friends, they know when I'm down, how I feel about work, relationships, health etc. So I tend to be able to share alsorts with friends and they with me.
Having dogs has also opened up a new selection of people, there's a like minded group of us who look after one another
So in summary, be open, kind and thoughtful in your dealings with others and make the effort with those who are on your wavelength. Sometimes easier said than done of course