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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Marital law and living arrangements

14 replies

moonbeam75 · 05/02/2020 22:00

My husband, now separated, moved out 3yrs ago this summer. My house is a housing association property that we initially moved into together, I was the only one who signed the tenancy agreement though he was added on with our children, by me. Anyway, he was taken off the tenancy when he moved out. However, he's telling me he's legally allowed to move back in and I must provide a key as it's the Marital home and the law dictates he can move back in as we're still married. I cannot seem to find straight answers online so wondered if anyone could help with this or signpost? I will be contacting Women's Aid too as he attacked me in my home the last time he was in it over 2yrs ago, though as there was no proof, no crime. The police have said it's a civil matter but did ring and speak with him.

Thankyou for reading Smile

OP posts:
Hockneypool · 05/02/2020 22:06

I would ask the Housing Association. I think it’s highly unlikely that he has any rights to it if you are now sole tenant and he hasn’t lived there for 2 years.

Do not give him a key.

Original poster
moonbeam75 · 05/02/2020 22:09

I forgot to add, I did ring them and they said he's no rights ad he's not on thr tenancy but they also advised I check with a solicitor Hmm so it's all a bit confusing. I won't be giving him a key, thankyou for the reply.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 05/02/2020 22:12

www.google.com/amp/s/www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/renting-your-rights-to-your-home-during-divorce-or-dissolution/amp I suppose strictly speaking he is correct if you are still married. I would look into divorce

Hockneypool · 05/02/2020 22:12

In that case just ignore him. You are sole tenant and he has no rights - he left and it was your tenancy first anyway.

Can you limit the contact you have with him. Does he have the kids ?

Original poster
moonbeam75 · 05/02/2020 22:28

He was sent divorce papers 2yrs ago at his request too! and he ignored them, the court can obviously prove this. That's the only reason I didn't get a divorce in the first place, I didn't see the point attempting it again for him to do that again. I don't believe I qualify for annulment until 3yrs has passed (??)

The only contact I have with him is strictly through email or text and only ever in regards to our children. I've not met him in person for nearly 3yrs, it's strictly a stay in the car pick up or drop off the kids situation. This is due to the fact I don't trust he won't attack me again, when he last did it the kids were in the house too, luckily upstairs and didn't witness it. There's always a closed front door between us.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 05/02/2020 22:36

www.gov.uk/divorce could you not cite unreasonable behaviour?

Cherrysoup · 05/02/2020 22:45

Could Shelter/Citizens Advice advise you? If he’s not on the tenancy, I don’t think he has the right to reside there, particularly given how long he’s been absent, but you need proper legal advice and a definitive answer.

Bluerussian · 05/02/2020 22:45

This is appalling, moonbeam. Why on earth does he want to move back with you after those years and even more so, why would he think you'd allow it?

Tell him the HA have told you he is no longer allowed to live at your place - that is true because they have said it - but do contact a solicitor, CAB or a women's organisation for confirmation.

Good luck. I agree about getting the divorce asap, it's possible to get legal aid to help you with that.

Blackforesthotchoc · 05/02/2020 23:15

I think the best way to think of this is imagine you had rented a new property, in your name only rather than staying. In that context, of course he wouldn't have access on the basis you were married; the house is in your name. If you jointly owned it would be different; but you don't; if he was on the tenancy it would be different; but he isn't. Ignore him.

Original poster
moonbeam75 · 05/02/2020 23:22

Thankyou for the replies, I wish we were divorced/annulled, either is fine by me I'm just aware he could again not sign/agree to either and I'm left with a cost I really can't be just paying for nothing. I cannot get legal aid.

**Blackforesthotchoc - that was my complete thoughts on the matter too! Though speaking with the police and my landlord they just advise my getting legal advice so that's my next step. I am asking in here as I've always had or read great advice in the past so it all helps.

Thankyou all again for the replies.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 05/02/2020 23:22

Your belief about annulment isn't right. You won't be able to get it annulled. Divorce after 2 years separation with consent of both parties, or on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour, or 5 years separation without his consent, would be relevant. Do it quickly now; you've wasted too much time. Tell him on no account will be ever be permitted to live with you again, and he'll have to take it to court if he wants to argue.

Dunin · 06/02/2020 09:25

Make sure you’ve changed your locks and always keep a key in all doors so he can’t come in. Is there any chance he can get a copy of a key from your kids? Just don’t reply to any of those threats. Make him take it to court if he wants access to the property. He’s not on the tenancy so no court is going to allow him access. He hasn’t bothered with the divorce papers so I can’t see him bothering paying a solicitor to take it to court! Just ignore but make sure all your doors are doubly secured so he can’t get in.

Dunin · 06/02/2020 09:30

That website covers most of the options. You are now sole tenant (correct?) his name isn’t on anything? You are primary carer for the kids and that is their main residence? He won’t get a court to agree to let him back. You could benefit from maybe taking out an injunction. Based on the previous violence and his threats to move back in. That would prevent him entering the property. Go see a solicitor and see if you can get an injunction out. Then regardless of the divorce he won’t be allowed near you.

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