I’ve been with my husband nearly thirty years. He’s quite a bit older than me . When we first started seeing each other I asked him never to lie to me, which he did and it was also quite a lie but we got through it. Then one day he told me he’d got a surprise for me -about four years into our relationship which I up sticks for and completely moved away from friends and family. And when I returned home he’d gone. I heard nothing for three weeks and I was just getting myself together when he got in contact and we started seeing each other again. I’m having to give you the background before I tell you my problem. After a week or so -he refused to say where he’d gone when he disappeared by the way I met him in town and I caught him on a chat room a gay one which he denies but I know what I saw. I then found a phone number that he told me was something else and when I called his bluff and rang it it was a prostitute. I was devastated he said he’d do anything to get me back and prove nothing happened with said prostitute. I asked for a lie detector but he flatly refused he said he didn’t need to prove anything. Our sex life became non existent which was my fault because of a comment I made and I take responsibility for that. But I was very young and I hadn’t been made to feel great shall we say. Then my brother died and he called me a weirdo because of how I was handling it. I was a bit stressed out so again I’ll hold my hands up. Over the years he walked out quite a bit and disappeared over night. I kind of got used to it. He then started telling me my dad, my mum, my sister, my friends all talked about me behind my back and had all warned him about me. We worked away a lot and he often flirted with other women which he denies but he did and he actually said to me once that he deliberately eyed another woman up in front of me to see if he fancied her but he didn’t so he said he must love me. We plodded on and in 2007 by some miracle I got pregnant and had a beautiful little boy. He walked out on both of us because he said I was controlling and told him what to do. I got counselling but I was told I was good and it ended. I do shout when I’m mad, very loudly but I have never gambled, drank, gone out with friends etc nothing. Anyway our sex life was nothing and I tried, hair cuts, fat, thin, boobs lol still nothing worked and he refused counselling. Anyway out of the blue in August an old school friend got in touch, we met for a drink-not just us two and I had an absolute scream. I then made the mistake of meeting him on my own. I have an awful lot of male friends as my work is male dominated so it was just a laugh. Then I realised that I was enjoying his company too much, I don’t know if it was attention or that he made me feel great and we kissed. I stopped it and I went home and immediately told my husband because I cannot do lies. I realised I should not have done it and then for a few weeks I carried on texting this guy but made it clear it wasn’t going to happen again and I have the texts. Anyway the whole thing lasted four weeks. It is now four months later and in that time my husband keeps saying there’s more to it etc. He walked out again on a special birthday and also pinky promised our son he wouldn’t do it again and literally one hour later he walked again! He won’t let it drop. I know I’m wrong but what can I do?