Do you like/get on with partners family?

[liveinhope100]

Does anyone dislike like their partners family?

If so, how do you tolerate them?!

Obviously struggling at the moment and just wanted to see if anyone else has this issue

I loved my ex’s family, known them since I was 14 and over the years I grew to be a solid member of their family. When I spilt with ex I was still very close to his mum - still am! I was maid of honour at her wedding!

Dh family are a different kettle of fish. If I’d know how hideous and fucking awful his mother was I’d probably not have even gone on our first date. I put up with her shit for about six years then went NC then agreed to start building bridges as she wanted to come to our wedding - which on the day she did her best to ruin. His brother was a complete arse too and i still don’t speak to them either.

You don’t have to put up with shit just because you don’t want to rock the boat with your partner. Dh prefers it we have no contact because he knows his mother just can’t help herself.

My mil was unbearable, micro managing every part of our lives, everything was her way or the highway, so we took the highway and moved 300 miles away and never saw or answered to her again.
Toxic relationships aren't good for anyone.

I’m not overly keen on MIL but I know she means no harm. Tbf my DH doesn’t like her much either so that helps, knowing I’m not alone. She’s only tolerable in short doses, she’s just quite erratic and full on. I can’t stand SIL at all, she’s a waste of space drug addict who I thankfully have nothing to do with. FIL is nice and DH’s very elderly Grandpa is lovely too.

I love mine, they are very kind, welcoming and interesting people. They live far away and I love going to visit.

Mine are tolerable. The feeling is mutual I'm quite sure. But they are DHs family, so now they are mine too.....so we all smile sweetly and be pleasant to each other's faces!

H and I have separated, my friends pointed out that at least I won't have to see mil. This is true.
Awful manipulating woman who I can see caused h some of his issues.

One of my friends has the most amazing inlaws. I am really envious tbh, they all get on, step kids, grandparents etc. I wish I had such lovely people in my life

I barely see my SIL, my MIL lives far away,
she's never been rude but I'm sure she wonders what does her son are in me. I like my BIL and his GF.

I get on well with them all. DPs parents liked me I think, and I was fond of them too. MIL occasionally overstepped but nothing that would cause a major fall out. They both died not long ago and I miss them a lot. They were genuinely lovely kind people. DP's siblings are all lovely and were reared close but not in each other's business either. All good fun, kind, helpful and just nice to have as family. I'm very lucky.

Difficult one for me. I do sort of get on with them when I see them, but at the same time we argue a lot as she says horrible things to my partner (like he's a rubbish dad and selfish and puts other things before his family) and when I stand up for him they just say it's none of my business .. to which I reply well don't say it in front of me then!

He split with his previous girlfriend almost 4 years ago now, and was single for a whole year before he even met me. Yet they make it clear that it would have been better if he'd stayed with her - even saying last Sunday "You know, it was better when you were with X" - I was sat right there!!

It's because of stupid conversations like this that DP doesn't want to visit much - but he makes sure his son sees them plenty. But every time he makes the effort to go round, he gets things thrown in his face from the past.

He might have been a "bad dad" in the past - but his partner (DSS's mum) left him at the drop of a hat for another man and didn't come back on the scene for 6 years, he was working 12hr days in a job he hated, and he was very very depressed and on meds. He's doing much better now, but wow, I can't believe they're throwing it in his face after everything he went through and everything he sacrificed for his son!

I tolerate my DH's family, PILs are fine in small doses but don't make much effort with us. That's fine with me and DH though. SIL on the other hand is a nightmare. She loves drama and we're currently having problems with her at the moment. I'm staying out of it! BIL is a lovely man but has mental health issues and he and DH have a complicated relationship.

I often wish DH had a family that were nicer to be around but at least he's not like them!

Get on with the ILs when I see them, but DH makes very little effort to do so and they don't either.

When DS was little, EBF and clingy MIL was desperate to spend time. Now he's older and more confident and knows her, he sees her twice a year when we make the effort.

Neither DH or MIL made an effort over Christmas, I've suggested we go that way in March and DH turned me down straight, so I'm leaving it be

In small doses they are fine but I struggle with lengthy visits. We are all civil to 3ach other though.

My STBEH’s family live 2 hours away and we never had a close relationship for some unknown reason.
He moved out in Jan and I haven’t heard from them since.
Then my dad passed away and they couldn’t even send me a text or card.

I suppose accept your differences in a respectful way, but do not tolerate disrespectful, unkind bullying, critical or unpleasant behaviour.
I have tried with my DH family but have now accepted that they are self absorbed, unempathetic and do not even want to try to have a reasonable relationship. So best to detach, fill your life with people you do like to balance it out. Mirror their effort. I tried so hard it was exhausting but now I mirror their effort, its still a poor relationship but less draining.