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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Supporting my mum

1 reply

BigBeanBag · 05/02/2020 09:50

I’ve just found out my step dad has had a 5 year affair, ended when he was no longer in the same area as the OW. My mum found out when the OW wrote her a letter.
My mum has know for the last 6 months and not told anyone as she was trying to work out what to do. It turns out this isn’t the first time, he also had an ongoing relationship with a woman when my half sister was a baby 25 years ago. I assume this is the tip of the iceberg.
I am obviously absolutely apoplectic with rage. I have had lots of long conversation with my mum and she is on the verge of leaving him however I’m concerned that there is a narrative of self blame creeping in (they weren’t having sex, she didn’t give him enough time etc). he’s also gone to counselling and is making a big effort to change/ be an ideal husband.
I really really wang her to leave him and want to support her any way I can but feel like I need to do it gently. I need advice in helping her see through his bullshit and dealing with my own rage

OP posts:
pallasathena · 05/02/2020 10:00

How about signing her up for The Freedom Programme? You could do it with her. it just might give her the insight, confidence and determination to change her perceptions and give you both a starting point for discussing everything.

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