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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What’s going on?

13 replies

Ginbunny1212 · 04/02/2020 19:39

Split up with my ex 5 weeks ago. We were only going out for 6 months. No hard feelings between us. I ended it as the guy had a really busy life and was very chaotic with his teenager, who he has 50% custody of. It just wasn’t working, more situational than anything else. We both said we still liked each other, but the situation was not ideal. He had too much going on to give me what I needed.

He lived 30 mins drive, both busy social lives and really didn’t get time to see each other with work and lives. He also has a challenging relationship with his ex and child. They are always fighting and his child refuses to see him a lot. This obviously put the guy in low moods. He loves his child and I have witnessed the fights between his ex. Both not perfect, but his ex is a bit unstable. However, he never really opened up to me about things , until now. He has great friends who support him.

We have maintained sporadic contact and met up once to get our stuff back. This weekend he posted something on Facebook that was a cry for help / bit worried. I texted and asked if ok and he opened up to me about the whole situation. More than the 6 months we were together. Sort of understood the impact this would have on a person. He is being proactive getting mediation arranged.

I offered advice and he keeps texting me telling me stuff. Now I am getting texts asking how I am. Back to contact on what it was before we split up. Lots of kisses at the end.

So wise people. Is this a man who just needs someone to listen? Or interested in rekindling?

OP posts:
Interestedwoman · 04/02/2020 19:47

It doesn't matter what he wants, unless him wanting to rekindle would really put you off being in touch with him.

Would you want to rekindle something with him, bearing in mind that his life was so filled with drama?

Ginbunny1212 · 04/02/2020 19:54

I dint know. Nothing serious with him as I know nothing will change in his life. But we got on. Just why the messages if we are split up

OP posts:
NotLangNow · 04/02/2020 19:56

Nothing serious = walk away and don't look back.

MyuMe · 04/02/2020 19:57

You ended OP.

So the question is do you want to rekindle him.

As for the cry for help on Facebook...is he a teenage girl?

Happygirl79 · 04/02/2020 20:00

I think you are flattered by the attention but if you finished it before because you felt it wasn't working ask yourself what's really changed?

Ginbunny1212 · 04/02/2020 20:02

Nothing has changed. Suppose it’s more the attention and possible fwb. That party was great. But not healthy. Does his messages mean friends or not? We both have established we are free this weekend.

OP posts:
FlowerArranger · 04/02/2020 20:07

He's looking for a lifeboat.

I'd take a step back.

Ginbunny1212 · 04/02/2020 20:12

Lifeboat as someone to listen to?

OP posts:
funnylittlefloozie · 04/02/2020 20:19

Does it really matter? Presumably he likes talking to you. If you like talking to him, it wont hurt to chat on Messenger or whatever. If you dont enjoy talking to him, just stop replying to him, or tell him you're busy, and then block him.

Also, grown men who post "cries for help" on Facebook are rarely emotionally healthy individuals. My exH does it from time to time, its purely attention-seeking.

Ginbunny1212 · 04/02/2020 20:31

I do like talking to him. It wasn’t that he was a horrible person. Jut too much drama. Think if he opened up whilst going out? it would of changed things. Suppose no pressure or thinking I am judging now. So do inspire him a fwb or leave it?

OP posts:
MyuMe · 04/02/2020 21:04

What do you want op

Ginbunny1212 · 04/02/2020 21:08

Honestly a cuddle and bit of fun.

OP posts:
MyuMe · 05/02/2020 06:53

So see if he's up for it.

You ended it so you need to make the moves.

There are no circumstances in which I would come on to someone who had dumped me.

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