Hi everyone
This is my first post on here I really need some advise as I really don't know what to do, I'm so upset and I don't want to talk to my family as I don't want to cause them any more stress or worry.
I've always had an argumentative relationship with my dh, he has a horrible temper, can't stand people disagreeing with him, but over the years I feel like it's got worse. He seems to have a very dysfunctional view of people and situations, he's always been very negative, but at the same time he's very attentive, caring, sensitive and we've always had the same morals and goals in life.
He has been diagnosed with an under active thyroid but I don't see how he can use this as an excuse for his behaviour.
Like for instance I disagreed with him on a situation the other day, he went in a silent mood said I was shutting him down, I was just giving him my opinion which he didn't agree with, so thinks that it's ok to go in a mood with me not talking and just went upstairs to play on his phone, whilst I'm downstairs looking after dd getting her tea ready etc... leaving me feeling upset and alone, if I don't try to apologise or speak to him he'll just ignore me. I went upstairs and I'd had enough I told him just because I don't agree with you doesn't mean to say you stop being a parent and that you can just laze around expecting me to do everything whilst he acts like a child, I was told to f&£k off and called a bitch. I told him I wasn't standing for this any more and that I've had enough my child shouldn't have to hear him calling me names, yet I get the blame for 'shutting him down'? And the whole I have too much resentment towards him... wonder why? And how we don't have a sex life anymore... wonder why? There's no romance it's a struggle for him to make an effort christmas, birthdays etc... it's always a last minute dash to the supermarket using the excuse he didn't know what to get nor didn't have time, funny how I find the time to get everything done though and buy him a thoughtful gift, he even tried to make me feel like the worst parent alive Christmas Eve because dd accidentally followed me into another room and saw her main xmas present, I told him how sorry I was but he made a point of making me feel terrible and upset dragging out ignoring me being funny and offish with me. He then said well if I'd done that you'd feel the same! I didn't actually do anything dad just accidentally followed me I didn't know she was there!
Things came to ahead today when we were at his parents and he was having a disagreement with them over something then started shouting and getting nasty with them, he tried to get me to stick up for him but I was having none of it and told him that maybe if he didn't speak to people the way he does then maybe people would be more willing to hear him out. He went mad trying to act like the victim how it's my fault and then proceeded to try and turn his parents against me, his dad kind of stuck up for me we went home and I haven't spoken to him and don't particularly want to. I feel so alone at a loss at what to do, if i leave him but then I'll have to split my time with dd which I really don't feel comfortable doing as she's never been away from me before, I'm not trying to say she shouldn't have a relationship with him but his temper worries me and I think it would negatively affect her being away from me, I also think he would use her to control me and upset me further, so I don't know what to do for the best. He's so petty and argumentative but obviously I would have left years ago if these were his only qualities... please help xx