Would this concern you? Maybe cheating.

[noelle73]

Wrote a long post but it disappeared! NC.

DH and I don't have a great relationship these days. Been married 15 years, two DC. Looks great from the outside, not great on the inside.

Background is that DH cheated approximately 7 years ago (although he says there was no sex) and had inappropriate contact with a colleague but this never got physical. We worked through it but I don't think I ever really got past it and I've been paranoid and obsessive a lot since then. I'm not proud of feeling like this and do wish I could stop it. DH is mostly understanding but I know he's frustrated about it. We don't have anything of a sex life these days and that's been the case for the last few years.

A couple of years ago a new woman started working in my DH's office. I didn't like her straight away, she seemed to find a lot of excuses to have contact with DH and they exchanged phone numbers and she messaged in the evenings. DH knows I didn't like that and it did calm down.

Over the last week, I've noticed that he has removed her from social media where as they used to be friends/follow each other on there. He has not spoken to me about this.

Would this sudden change of social media worry you? It's got my spidey senses tingling. I feel like it's too out of the blue to not be for a reason but I'm not eager to get into a row with DH about it if I've lost perspective on it.

The issue here is you don't trust him. You're looking at his social media so closely. I wouldn't even know who DHs suggested friends were.

Are you saying he's removed her as a suggested friend?

If my marriage was sexless, then anything would probably make me suspicious... sounds more like a roommate situation. Are you expecting to both remain celibate for the next XX years?

I'm not sure how old you both are, but the whole relationship needs evaluating.

I'm missed that they were FB friends...apologies.

Yes...I would be suspicious...but it's the lack of a sex life, that would cause my suspicions.

He’s probably removed her because you were giving him shit for it so he thought it was easier.

He’s cheated on you before so in turn the trust has gone, I don’t blame you for this but I don’t think it’s worthwhile remaining in the relationship.

Your husband is a cheat. You know this, and I'm sure you know the "there was no sex" excuse was total bullshit. Your spidey senses are tingling because you know he's up to no good. Again. You don't and can't trust him. Why live like this?

Could she have blocked you?

There's likely a reason - perhaps they've been seeing each other and broke up, or maybe she was suggestive and he's not willing to progress it further, but if you don't trust him then you'll just never know what happened and what to believe.

I think you have no choice but to focus on your relationship and how to move forward. Sexless marriage is a bad place and needs addressing one way or another.

Whether he is cheating or not your relationship sounds utterly miserable.

Could she have blocked you? Maybe they have fell out or maybe he’s done it to please you as he knew you were unhappy about their contact

I think anything out of the ordinary, especially when concerning women, is likely to get your senses tingling to be honest. That's the price he pays for betraying your trust.

You have EVERY right to ask him. You should be open and honest , especially after infidelity, and he should calmly and happily explain and hopefully ease your fears.