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Original poster

Partner watching sexcam while I'm asleep or looking after our baby

21 replies

Charliebabe123 · 04/02/2020 15:41

I recently sold my laptop and my partner told me it was alright to use his computer. He changed the password to something we both know. Today I logged on to use it for college work. Started typing and it tried to auto fill to a sexcam website. I'm horrified. I couldn't not look at his history.
When I've been looking after our poorly baby or put baby and myself to bed he's been going on these sites. Just feel very betrayed. We've never discussed porn in our relationship as we had a healthy sex life until our baby was born. I've not felt ready to start having sex again but have still tried every couple of months. Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
Loveablers · 04/02/2020 15:43

He would be out on his arse!

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 04/02/2020 15:45

It would be bye from me too.

Original poster
Charliebabe123 · 04/02/2020 16:05

It feels silly because I know many people watch porn in relationships but this feels a lot more personal

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 04/02/2020 16:14

It IS more personal.

Poppy54 · 04/02/2020 16:25

What's the site? It might not be what you think.

MsDogLady · 04/02/2020 16:39

Charlie, webcamming is cheating in my eyes. He is interacting with other women to have a sexual experience. This is an intimate betrayal and an abuse of your trust.

mamato3lads · 04/02/2020 17:11

I gave my DH absolute hell for a year because I found porn.

If I found sex cams....where he was interacting with real people on camera, I would have divorced him and he knows it.

Its cheating and hes a bastard for doing that to you. Have you checked all.his history ? Any other sites?

So sorry Sad

FizzyGreenWater · 04/02/2020 17:15

Get rid. Just saves time really rather than waiting until he cheats on you in the flesh. Bleurgh.

hastybear · 04/02/2020 17:26

Oh dear. Now I am a DH and I have been known to watch the odd bit of porn, but Web cams is something else. It's a step past your basic porn. He might be on a slippery slope and it is worth talking to him about it before lighting a fire under his arse. If he needs help, fine, if he's a dickhead about it grab hold of his testes and squeeze.

URPS · 04/02/2020 18:19

This would cross my boundaries. Porn, not keen but okay. Live web cams is cheating in my eyes.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/02/2020 18:26

Not acceptable in any way shape or form. I's also wonder how much money he's spending on this rubbish.

AnyFucker · 04/02/2020 18:29

You picked a right turkey there, love

nocluewhattodoo · 04/02/2020 18:37

Are you sure that the webcam sites on his history are not pop ups from accessing 'normal' porn sites? Livejasmin and similar? It should be easy to find out if he has been using them as there will be charges on his card or PayPal.

Urkiddingright · 04/02/2020 18:41

Is it a webcam site where you have to pay to view? I only ask because there are cam sites you can view for free unless you want to pay to see their private shows. They usually show enough flesh/sex for free to get off on tbh. If he has just watched one of those it’s not really any different from porn. I think paying for a personal cam girl is different though.

Fuckmyliferightnow · 04/02/2020 18:47

Hi op, I have found out the same with my partner recently. It feels like such an insult.
The lies and deceit around it has hurt the most.
My DP's phone bills are sky high and he a lot of money with nothing to show for it.
He has broken down saying he's depressed and is a porn addict and a load of other bullshit too.

Sorry to hear about this, you deserve better!!

3rdchristmaslucky · 04/02/2020 18:47

OP it depends on the nature in which he was watching.

A lot of people watch cam shows and don't interact at all. Has he got an account and has he been spending money? If he hasn't then chances are he was just watching an wanking but not interacting.

I'm assuming that he's not been pressuring you for sex?

What I'm reading here is that he's beating his meat when the opportunity arises while you recover from childbirth.

I would have a conversation with him about this. Tell him how you came across it and how it makes you feel.

Tell him that you understand he has needs but you feel as though watching live cam shows are overstepping a boundary which you've never discussed before.

Don't sit and stew on this. Talk to your partner.

Fuckmyliferightnow · 04/02/2020 18:48

Sorry that should say he spends money

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 04/02/2020 18:48

Honestly... just a sign of what’s to come. It won’t get better.

Istillgetjealous · 04/02/2020 18:50

I don’t think it’s acceptable
Porn yes, webcams no

Needtogetbackinthesack · 04/02/2020 18:56

this was one of the major factors in my divorce, and the tens of thousands of pounds he spent doing it. LTB.

Fuckmyliferightnow · 05/02/2020 10:15

@Charliebabe123 How are things?

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