I had a messy break up 3.5 years ago, I was cheated on in a long term relationship and it completely devastated me. I met the perfect man 2.5 years ago, and we have just had our first child 4 months ago.
I don't want to sound pathetic, but I've always thought i have some sort of ptsd from that life event of being cheated on. I was so poorly after and have never been able to trust again. When me and my now partner met, I felt I could learn again. But I'm so paranoid all the time, I constantly plan on my head what to do if it happened again. I constantly think it's going to happen again (with no reasons for this)
I'm at the point now I'm considering having a conversation with my partner to tell him I just can't cope with the worry anymore and I'd rather just be on my own. I have organised some counselling but the wait list is 10 weeks.
I don't mention a lot to my partner about how I feel because I don't want to seem like I nag. I don't know what to do