Okay mums this a long one, so I apologise in advance. I’ve been with my partner for 5 years. We have 2 children together. Thing is, I’m really really confused as to whether we should be together. Now generally things are okay, we get on well as a family & it’s comfortable. But my main worry is that he doesn’t care about me as much as I do him, now the reason I say that is because he hardly ever shows me any emotion or affection. I’m always going to him for cuddles & kisses, he will give them back but he never ever comes to me first.
He also is really bad at supporting me emotionally, I suffer with anxiety & at times I really do need him to be supportive but I just feel he isn’t at all. For instance, in 2018 we had 2 miscarriages. Both times he wasn’t there for me, I remember 2 days after one he was asking me why I was upset, like I had to remind him what we’d just been through?
He’s also terrible at making me feel good, if I make a big effort with my appearance he will never ever notice. One time he commented on a bra asking if it was new, but I’d had it for 5 months. He’s not one to compliment me either, if I say ‘oh does my hair look good?’ He will say ‘yeah it does’. But I always say ‘wow you look hot in that top’ or something...I just feel like I give him a lot of my heart & I don’t get nearly enough of the same treatment back.
But the thing is, he can be really sweet. He’s good at buying flowers...
Every few weeks, sometimes even days I lay in bed & just wonder if we should just call it a day, because surely this isn’t ok to feel like this? My self esteem is to the ground, I sometimes don’t even want to have sex because I just don’t feel comfortable to do it & I don’t feel good enough :( We can go days before we kiss too, if I don’t instigate it - it won’t happen, is this normal in long relationships?
I just don’t know what to do anymore :( all I know is it’s affecting me badly. Thanks for reading x