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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My narcissist has just left...!

5 replies

worrywart2003 · 03/02/2020 23:01

So having tried everything possible to maintain our relationship,I’ve gone with the cool as a cucumber approach this last few weeks. When he’s pissed me off I’ve let it slide and just stayed out of his way.
Clearly the lack of drama has rankled and he wanted to get rid of “the tension” at the weekend. Cue arguments, lost tempers, cold shoulders, him being the victim, me shouting and him packing bags because I couldn’t “talk to him like an adult”. Eventually I told him this was making me ill and I didn’t want to continue debating. He then decided he didn’t want to leave if I was unwell. Told him I was just sick of the dance and he had to take responsibility for whatever he wanted to do. Apparently it was my fault he packed bags and he didn’t want to go?! So I said that packing bags felt like a betrayal and on that word he said “I’ll show you betrayal” and left...! Telling me that it’s exactly what I wanted. WTAF?!

OP posts:
worrywart2003 · 03/02/2020 23:21

Good God. Reality sinking in. I’ve spent so long thinking I’ve said sorry for things I shouldn’t be sorry for but now I feel sorry. And lonely. And scared.

OP posts:
pog100 · 03/02/2020 23:21

Why would you want a relationship with him?? I don't really understand your emotions here, OP, aren't you glad he's gone, it sounds terribly unhealthy.

worrywart2003 · 03/02/2020 23:26

It is unhealthy. Neither of us are happy. Well, we are happy for a bit and then it turns to shit. We just can’t communicate. It gets so ridiculous that I sometimes find myself laughing when we have an “episode”. It’s like a soap opera. It just feels that without him taking any responsibility for what goes wrong we would constantly have been on a merry go round. But looks like the stakes have been upped and he’s away. Just not sure what comes next and where I’ll get the energy from. I don’t know if he’ll come back. He has a houseful of stuff here so his move is temporary for now

OP posts:
Justtryingtobehelpful · 04/02/2020 01:08

Start dreaming and planning your life without this man. It sounds relentless. This is a positive thing. Figure out the legalities of your situation to make sure he stays gone.

Windmillwhirl · 04/02/2020 03:17

Why are you calling him a narcissist? Why do you sound like you want him back if you are both miserable? Are you afraid to be in your own?

If he is a narcissist then surely you should be getting some help to keep you away from him and your toxic relationship.

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