Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Marriage issues

6 replies

Loulou45 · 03/02/2020 21:29

Hello & it’s taken a lot of courage to open up about my marriage problems so please be patient with me.
I’ve not opened up to anyone about the following information.
Let me start from the beginning...... rewind back to Xmas night 2018 & as I washed the dishes my husband (who I love with all my heart and soul) told me that he doesn’t love me anymore out of nowhere. I just stared out the window as the tears flowed down my face. Never in a million yrs ever expected it from him . So I was in shock & said absolutely nothing as my kids (20 &16 were in the house).
That’s the day in my memory that has changed my life. Over the last Yr & a bit ....I have taken to the roads walking & lost over 5 st in weight as I’ve kept everything inside & not told anyone of my worries.
Ye probably have heard the same old story but my husband has continued to live in the house ever since. I’ve endured over 15 months of hell... stonewalling emotional panic & mental abuse displayed by him to me.
Me.... I’ve kept a fake smile on my face & carried on. But I’m dying inside especially as he has told me “I think it’s unfair to make love to you as I don’t love you “ so heartbreaking to hear those words & they haunt me daily. He has led his own life ever since & I’ve said nor done anything to aggravate him. My kids & everyone else from the outside think that all is ok.
He told me yesterday that his feelings haven’t changed but why does he continue to stay in the family home.
Maybe I’m a fool or doormat but I really need to hear advice from others.
Any help or advice would be appreciated big time.
Feel so alone at the moment.

OP posts:
CinderEmma · 03/02/2020 21:33

I'm so sorry Sadwhy won't he leave? You need to find some strength and tell him to go if that's how he feels.

mamato3lads · 03/02/2020 21:36

This is death by a thousand cuts and must be absolute torture.

Take control. You need to get out of this soul crushing, heart breaking situation.

If hes adamant theres no reconciliation to be had , then you should separate.

This will destroy you otherwise. How dare he be so selfish.Shock

Huge hugs to you Flowers

mamato3lads · 03/02/2020 21:40

Just to ask, has he given any reason he wont leave ? Have you had that conversation? Is there any chance theres another woman?

He cant keep you hanging by a miserable thread .. hes robbing you of the chance to find a man that wants and loves you like you deserve, which you will, once he is out of your life .

Rainandspirit · 03/02/2020 21:59

Kind of in the same boat only my H had an affair and I found out !! He has and still is refusing to move out. Even tonight I asked him again ( found out last May) and he says no. That’s the easy way out he keeps saying.
As someone has said it’s a death by a thousand cuts or more .

zsazsajuju · 03/02/2020 22:06

Good for you with the weight loss and getting healthier.

He has already left mentally whether or not he is having an affair. Please split with him now and make a better future for yourself.

user1479305498 · 03/02/2020 22:37

Hello OP, I am very much of the opinion people can fall out of love , sadly it can be one sided, however it’s not ok at all for there to be no proper moving on, that’s incredibly cruel I feel on his part. I feel you are going to have to take the initiative, very hard I know if you do love him

New posts on this thread. Refresh page