What should I do

[bardigirl]

So my partner isn’t romantic never surprises me with flowers or candles whenever Valentine’s Day comes I either surprise him or he will ask me where I wanna go for food or what I wanna do it’s never a surprise or romantic because I end up planning everything. I’m romantic all year round and try to make him feel special whenever I can. He just doesn’t do it for me, he used to be when we first got together so I know he has it in him.. it’s just like he’s bagged the girl he doesn’t need to try anymore 😕 We’ve now been together 7 years.

He often forgets our anniversary’s and even a few times my birthday. He says he’s just got a bad memory but he never forgets other tiny things 🤔

I know you shouldn’t judge your relationship off others but I’m sick of seeing bouquets of flowers delivered to the door or even a candle lit bath would be nice, am I being too much ? Or should I have a right to be upset. I don’t feel loved or appreciated at all!! sex is just a when I can be bothered sort of thing nower days I’d rather please myself most time 👀

My DH was the same, thinks Valentine's Day, birthdays and Christmas are all pointless and silly. I just sat down and explained how worthless I felt and I didn't want to be with someone who wouldn't make any effort towards me.

He's started making major progress. Some people aren't naturally romantic, my DH lacked confidence in that way and I think he was worried about "getting it wrong"

I'd suggest talking to him, especially as it could just be a gently kick up the bum that he needs

Why are you and he together at all?

What are you getting out of this relationship now?

What is the point of this relationship?

Is there anything he does for you that makes you feel wanted?

i think you need to tell him how you feel. Forgetting your birthday is not on. Does he do other things to make you feel special?

@litterbird no not anymore unfortunately!
@Lozzerbmc nope nothing I never get gifts Even Mother's Day my mom has to buy me something from the kids because he won't. Like a lady said above he says it's pointless🙄 I feel like not getting him anything anymore but I just couldn't do that I'd feel awful and the kids love going out and picking stuff for peoples birthdays etc..

He’s got a bad memory? But he has a smart phone? So he can put stuff in his calendar... I have a bad memory for dates but I use my calendar to keep track of everything. You can set it to repeat the same notification every year, it takes about 30 seconds. He’s just not bothered.

@melissa1215 I've mentioned it many times as recently as Christmas as he didn't get me anything from the kids and what he did buy me was a George Foreman grill (all I do is cook stuff for him on it), a new hoover and a calendar ! But he just doesn't see the error in his ways he says it's a waste. But he brought his mom and dad a trip away, his sister a groupon massage day out thing and his auntie and uncle tickets to a concert it's lovely he does that for them I'm not saying he shouldn't but I get a hoover ....

@AttilaTheMeerkat @user14928465 I'm asking myself that ! Valentines days coming up and I've brought him a card and I've arranged for the kids to go to family members I'm looking at recipes to cook as we don't make a huge thing out of valentines anyway but I'm thinking why am I bothering he won't even buy me a card

@KennyRogersWasNotInStarWars I completely agree there no excuse he's got a good job which requires good memory it's just bullcrap you make the effort for the people you love not excuses !

He's not bothered by gifts so he doesn't see the importance. Talk to him. Get a babysitter and go out for the evening. Do this regularly. Kids, work, life have got the better of your relationship. Stop feeling resentful and tell him properly so he understands and try to listen too. None of us are mindreaders.

He’s bothered by gifts for other people though so I can see why the OP is so upset/annoyed by it.

Do you actually want to be with him OP, aside from this are you actually happy? Eg if you won the lottery tomorrow would you stay with him or leave him?

Talk to him,explain how you feel and hopefully he will make the change...i hate the whole valentine thing but at same time would not like to see it ignored and we not making the effort...so we do something..him saying “it’s a waste” is not nice...making an effort to show how much you appreciate and love your partner is not a waste..even if it’s a little forced from a commercial side,,one can still make an effort...