Me and my partner have been having our issues lately. Granted on both sides we haven't been our best. I blame lack of sleep and the added stress of having a baby.
Recently my partner doesn't make me feel loved. I feel more like a burden.
He gets in random moods with me and doesn't explain what is wrong. I am left to guess what is up because he won't tell me and I feel like I'm walking on egg shells all the time. When he is in one of those moods he doesn't take an interest in me at all. Sometimes I feel like he does it on purpose, because he likes making me guess what is up rather than telling me and watching me worry.
When I tell him how the behaviour makes me feel, he shifts the blame onto me. He blames the house, and the fact that I didn't move somewhere he wanted to (I didn't because somebody lives round the corner who would of really effected my anxiety and mental health). He blames the fact that I spend too much money (I only ever spend money on house stuff, like borax or stuff for our daughter like cups, bowls etc for weaning). But he didn't tell me any of this before hand. I don't even think the money thing was an issue until I mentioned how his behaviour made me feel. I could see his brain working for something to blame me for.
He doesn't like admitting when he is wrong. He also has a bad case of the whole black and white thinking thing. When I asked him to go to therapy, his reply was that we'd be skint and have no food because he'd be taking time out if his day to go to therapy (he is self employed) but taking an hour out of his day for therapy isn't going to make us go hungry. He manages taking an hour out of his day when he wants a lie in... I know all about black and white thinking because I have (and occasionally still do) thought like that. I went through 2 years of intensive therapy to change my way of thinking and how I deal with low moods.
I've managed to persuade him to go to therapy, but I don't think he really knows how or what is so damaging to me about his behaviour sometimes. I don't imagine him really working on himself, I can imagine him more just complaining about me, and other things that are "terrible" in his life....our life isn't terrible, he just focuses on all the bad stuff but i know they can be a symptom of mental illness. He is very stressed. He says he doesn't want to break up, and that he loves me and doesn't want to lose me, but the way he acts makes me feel like he does and I feel like he really hates his life but he says he doesn't.
Do you think therapy will help? My sister thinks he is emotionally abusive but everyone has negative points about their personality. I'm just asking for a different viewpoint. Thanks .