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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Next steps - please help me find my way

6 replies

HGranger · 02/02/2020 23:01

So some of you might have read previous posts from me. I have just come back from a night with some friends and just couldn't face pretending everything is ok. (Last weekend he called me a narcissist and told me my daughter would grow up to hate me and then expected everything to be happy families.)

He threatened to leave tomorrow, and I called him our and said why not now. He packed a bag and as he left he told me it would he my fault if he wrapped hi car round a tree as I was forcing him out of his house when he had been drinking (I had just got home and had not idea how much he has drank.) I called him back and realising he wasnt going to listen to me, threatened to call his parents to speak some sense into him. He didn't anyway so I called his Mum. She rang back later asking what had happened and basically told me he wasnt able to talk through things and that I shouldn't go away over the weekend as it makes him unhappy and he doesnt understand why I would want to leave him and my daughter. Something he later bought up via messenger. Basically telling me I had no right to leave him with our daughter (my family don't live close and I usually meet up with them. He has always had an issue with me seeing family and friends. He shames me for going away to see people, and yet never takes the opportunity when offered. He had ostracised from friends, saying he just wants to spend time with me.

To cut an even longer story short, he is at his mum and dads. How do i move forward. I have been in this man since I was 17 and love him, but I am am so desperately unhappy.

OP posts:
BuddhaAtSea · 02/02/2020 23:10

What do you mean leave your daughter? You were just visiting someone and he was at home with her till you got back, is that what you meant?

He sounds nuts. Let him go and live your life.

DonKeyshot · 03/02/2020 00:49

What exactly is there to love about this controlling and abusive man?

DonKeyshot · 03/02/2020 00:52

Btw, don't bother involving his mother in your relationship with her son. She's raised him to be an entitled git and she's his enabler.

Alfiemoon1 · 03/02/2020 08:40

I agree don’t involve his mum. Leave him at his parents to stew.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 03/02/2020 08:44

His mothers an enabler. Why shouldn't you be allowed to spend time away/with your family?

Don't take him back.

KellyHall · 03/02/2020 08:45

Leave him at his parents FOREVER!

Don't bother speaking to his family, they created the horrible beast and obviously think he's perfect.

You just focus on living your life with your child, without him.

Sometimes it's easier to stay with an arsehole you love for fear of the unknown alternative. But actually the alternative is being happy alone, or even meeting the nice person you are supposed to be with. Neither will happen if you stay with him.

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