8 months pregnant, 8 months affair

[JoeTwoTies]

I'm 8 months pregnant, with Baby 3 (other 2 are under 4), and just discovered DH been having 8 month affair, and she is also pregnant. He says he doesn't want to be with her, but I don't know (don't really know anything right now)
Any advice on how to deal with this?

no advice here either sorry. How did oyu find out? Could you trust him if you stayed with him?

are you a regular MNer?

f**ing hell, how rough for you... You need to try and decide what you want/need and tell him - he clearly has no decisive powers. Sorry, but what a twat,,,

Can you tell us any more? Is the affair over? I assume her baby is his?

Lots and lots of sympathy for you - you must be feeling terrible right now. doed anyone in RL know?

Hi there

Lucky you having the gift of another Baby - I hope all goes well in yr pregnancy for both you & babe.

It's difficult enough being pregnant with emotions flying all over the place as you well know, but am sure you feel you don't need that added pressure, upset, etc at this mo in time!

Can't tell you what to do.. but will try to help.. bear with me as am new member so hope not talking shit.

He has placed himself in a bad situ but far more you! Very selfish and no thought for life & the current kiddies, but then men r what they r - but no real excuse - they cannot multitask like us women so that tells you the depth of their brains/capabilities - hence women have babies & not them!

You need to decide what you would do without him. Could you cope??? People cling on to what they want thinking they cannot get through without that, some can, some cannot - you need to draw up a list of good/bad - pros/cons for the future not now if you can. Think seriously coz he has not just had an affair, it may mean another family entering your current family life.

I wish you the best if no response x

I won't say anymore unless you want to respond for more. I have been there as a child in that situation & have friends in same situ x

Jb - what a sweet message - we tend to forget the practicalities in a heated and emotional case like this! At the end of the day, your future is what you make it, babies are terrifying but also delicious!!

Hey Joe, bloody hell, I think you're doing remarkably well!

JuBug has some good advice. Have you any close friends or family nearby in whom you can confide? It would be good to have a few allies in the know in case you need eg babysitters, time away from the house?

I wonder what your "D"H is saying to his pregnant mistress when he's with her?

Have you got a good relationship with your midwife? Maybe she could help in the practical pregnancy issues, like dealing with stress and so on. .

I feel so and for you!

Sorry got no advice as I'm rubbish at it but couldn't leave your thread without adding something.

You have to put your health and all your childrens first, agree confide in family hopefully they will rally round you. I would need to know if this affair is completely over if it is what part is her going to play in this other DCs life? Also if you do take him back it will be very hard on your relationship with trust issues etc so you need to think long and hard about it. Not the type of things you should be thinking about with a month to go granted.

I hope you get the support you need and make the right choices for you, best of luck x

kick the bastard out. sue him for everything heis worth.
lyng cheating git!
notvey helpful im afraiud

I'm so sorry. What a really horrible thing. I would suggest going to Relate NOT necessarily to save your relationship but to help communication between the two of you. Unfortunately you will always have three children together.
Also, a third impartial person might help see through any stories he's telling you. Men lie when they have affairs...

I mean unfortunately in the sense of having to deal with him whatever happens, not that it is unfortunate to have the children!

have no other advice for you except do not let ur preg hormones cloud your judgement.he has cheated on you for a long feckin time, which has resulted in the whore bag also being preg.you need to think whether you can live with this constant reminder of what this fuck wit has done to you.the one and only thing you need to do is what is best for u and yor dc at the end of the day. i hope that you will be ok hun and i am so sorry ur having to o through such a traumatic time x x x

Dear All
Thank you so much for your messages - very, very comforting. Haven't been able to get on website sooner as been trying to sort mess out. He's saying he doesn't want to be with her but can't help thinking he's just staying put (to ease his guilt)until I've had mine then he'll be off. Not sure if the baby is his (she is a bit of a slapper by all accounts)she's also young (only just past 20!) so he is trying to convince her that being a single mum is bloomin hard work. He's adamant doesn't want the baby, (can't help thinking he shouldve used a condom, or better still, not shagged her in the first, second, third etc place!!)
Thank Jubug for your words of advice. You are right about the hormones and emotions!! xx

i wish you the best of luck with the birth and the time you have with your two and your new baby.

You might not like to hear it but do you know if he used a condom? did he put you at risk.