I know all I seem to do is moan lately but Ive had enough of my Sisters DP, hes a t**t and I can't keep my mouth shut anymore!

[kitsandbits]

They were supposed to be going out for a meal - buther DP owed someone money.

So she says shes going to cook dinner (she lives at home with our parents and has a 4 month old)

So today we went to pick up a cot for her son and her DP was sat palying the Xbox, the baby was in the bouncer.

Hesays 'take the baby'

she says no cause were getting a cot and it wont fit in

he says 'im not minding him ... take him'

she says but i cant

so he says

' take him or im not staying in tonight, ill go out drinking'

Im sorry but thats fucking blackmail!!

Im here whilst all this is going on.

He basically is telling her to do as he says or he'll ruin the night shesplanned for HIM!!

so my mum goes mad at him (she has never done so before)

He leaves and txts her and DUMPS HER!!(again)

She at home sobbingher eyes out.

Shes only 18 and she thinks hes her world- and she doesnt want to go it alone.

but shes not alone - Im here! I keep asking her to move in with me and Ill help her.

Alone would be better than with this prick.

Shes so stressed that shes got allapcia. Shes gone up to a size 20 after the baby. Shes so beautiful and thistwats making all her hair fall out.

He dumped her when the baby was due - and she had high blood pressure and had to be addmitted and the baby was ill at birth.

God this is such a rant - but shes worth so much more, but just cant see it

sorry for the swearing too

Sorry! its a bit deep for a sat night i know!

He sounds like a total prick. She is so young, it must be awful for you to watch her wasting her life with him. You can only continue to be there for her. She's lucky to have you looking out for her.

he's an arse..your parents need to refuse to have him under their roof til he cares for their daughter and grandchild properly

That what my dads said will happen now.

But my sister will say somethinng to him - but if anyone else does she defends him!!

She will be devestated that my dads saying that hes not allowed in the house and she turns it round on them - saying theyre interfering.

She blinded bylove.

I dont even think it is love, just fear of being alone.

what a git, hopefully he will sod off and she will realise she can survive perfectly well without him. its so hard when its you tho, you just cant see whats real

I understand that, but this is just a wholedifferent level.

Shes not who she was, its so awful to see

written here, of course he sounds awful, but these are the ones that are hardest to shake - you can't influence her unless she's ready to hear you. We've all had unsuitables, but the worse you hear from people, the more it allies you to the bad boy - don't make her defend him. It's really hard, but be as kind as you can to her, and then when it goes tits up, she will feel able to turn to you as you have been a rational presence and she will feel you only have love in your heart for her (which you clearly do) It's really friggin hard to keep quiet in these situations - but a valued and certain confidant is worth her weight in gold....

Thats what I want him to do!

But he dumps her and then she takes him back - time after time.

If hed dumped her for good Id have a party.

But i know hes just broken her heart, and will pick her up again, wait a few months and do it again!

i rather think your sister needs some self confidence - any chance of your mum babysitting whilst you two have anight on the town.

She comes round here custardo - we watch a film & and make krispie cakes, lol.

Were not 'out on the town' kind of gals, lol

well i think she needs to try tbh - i think she needs to know that hes not the only man in the world who will look at her

i think she needs to know that.

i think she needs to get dressed up to the nines

and go out

and dance

and get chatted up

.... a lot

even my ugly pissed feckers

i think she needs to know that she is not confined to that prick of a cock sucking fuck head who treats her like shit.

i think he needs to know that he can't treat her like shit - becuase shes not going to take it forever.

they are immature
immature ralationships do somewhat work tis way.

so i think maybe you should tell her to get her glad rags n and paint the town red

Hes immature

and shes had to grow up too fast and basically has the weight of a baby just on her shoulders, whilst he does what he wants.

I cant go clubbing lol. I really dont think she would want to.

She is really beautiful, im not just saying it she is.

Shes been asked 3 times to be a +size model! Shes just gorgeous. And i agree she needs to KNOW SHE CAN DO BETTER.

I had a teenage bf who I loved to bits and battled with my parents about - he actually wasn't that bad, but the stance my folks and friends took allied me to him for about a year longer than I would have - It's really f'ing difficult but try and talk about the weather or something, because everyone else will be on her case and she will think no-one is being objective... You may be the one she turns to...

I read this and got all angry, it reminded me so much of xp! Gobsh*te!!

I was in this situation at 17 with a stupid dp who couldn't be arsed and lived at my moms house. Eventually (baby 5 mo) it was me who ended it even though he'd done it to me a thousand times. Perhaps when she realises she is actually already coping on her own, basically, and that other people are NICER to her than he is, she'll be able to do it, I hope. Everyone is right though be there for her and make sure you don't encourage her to defend him by bitching about him or it will take longer. She has to see for herself that the bad is outweighing the good before she'll be ready to call it a day.

Id boot him out.

what a twat. Does he not work??

Oh dear.

You can't make her leave the bastard. All you can do is treat it like an addiction, ie. keep your own rules, have boundaries...acknowedge she has choices but that you will not support them.
So I guess this means, say 'we love you and care about what you're letting him do to you,(because she is letting it happen) 'You're the only one who can stop it, we won't interfere but he's not treating US like that, not living in our house, etc. and if you want to be with him then fine but please don't ask us to condone it.'
In other wors, protect yourselves from being annoyed/wound up etc by him, avoid him, but still be there for her.
She cannot be made to leave him and I remember when my family were all telling me to eat when I had anorexia, it made me think 'well if they are in charge of my life, let them sort it out' - of course only when they said 'ok do what you like' did I realise I was going to die if I didn't grow up!
Tough and assertive love will help her take responsibility and ALLOW her to say 'enough' without feeling it's because of other people telling her to.
xx

Hey,

The night after he'dumped' her he rang and said he was sorting a flat for them both - and baby

He doesnt work, hes 18 and he goes around asking if people need their grass mowing with MY petrolmower! (but dont want to say no when he asks for it cause thats my sisters income)

Spends all his money on weed, is an absolute mummys boy!

Has to give keep to his mum even though he doesnt live with her!

My dad said hes only allowed to stay on the weekend now.

Im worried about my dad too, hes getting depressed ocer this, theres been alot going on lately.

Im worried he will snap and beat the shit out of sisters dp.

Actully hes training to be a plumber- but has been on hols, but just doesnt provide for mmy sis and the baby

God- he sounds like a right shit.

he needs to grow up doesnt he.

your poor sister.

Its really hard because I love my nephew sooo much, but he's tiedthem together forever
I just wish my nephew could somehow still be here and be te same kid but she never met her DP.

Stupid, but I wish it could be.