Feel like the last bit of hope has been crushed

[Helpmechoosewhichjob]

I have finally given up trying to communicate in my relationship with DP. There is no fucking point. He is emotionally immature and generally uninterested in anything to do with me. I've poured my heart out hoping for something to come of it when all I got was silence on the matter. I'm gutted and feel like the last glimmer of hope has been crushed. I just need to grin and get on for the foreseeable from tomorrow. Wish me luck!

big hugs x x

Why do you need to grin and get on with it? Is there anyway you can leave?

Being lonely in company is the worst kinds of loneliness. Look after yourself.

Whatever you do, don't have a child with him. He would be a nightmare.

OP has a Child with him...

We do have a child together. I do everything for our son and he is my sole priority. He deserves better though and that's why I won't be arguing any more. I'm tired of it and DS deserves more. He is only a baby so he won't understand our current conversations thankfully. We don't shout at each other I might add. Our arguments are conversations which we both leave more frustrated.

Why on earth would you choose this soul destroying life for you and your son?

Best to get out now, before your son is old enough to figure out how unhappy things are. Don't condemn yourself to any more years of misery. Or raise a son in an environment where women tolerate immaturity and coldness from men.

Your sole priority is yourself and your son, not just your son.
Besides sole destroying I think it is the most loneliest situation to be living in that sort of relationship.
Have you got a good supportive friend or family who can help or move you out of there.
Ask yourself in the long term what and where do you want to be.

@Helpmechoosewhichjob so sorry, I didn't realise you had a child together.

Just to clarify, is there any chance you could have post natal depression? I walked out on my ex due to PND, regretted it. My DD is now 16 months and she adores her dad. It breaks my heart that she'll never have her mum and dad together.

Do you love each other? Can you see a relationship counsellor to see if they can help you communicate?

Remember that having a baby is hard and puts a strain on most relationships.

Get out now, while your dc is too young to worry about it. Much less harmful in the long run. x

I've given up communicating with my H except in the practical sense. He never listens, he gaslights and blames me and twists everything round. It's a horrible place to be. I agree with the post by @mumsie2019 Your sole priority is yourself and your son, not just your son.
Besides sole destroying I think it is the most loneliest situation to be living in that sort of relationship.
Have you got a good supportive friend or family who can help or move you out of there.
Ask yourself in the long term what and where do you want to be.. You count too, if you can't put yourself first for you, remember your son needs you to be able to go on caring for him and to do that you need to make your needs a priority along with his.

I do of course count myself. I'm looking after myself too and plan to get myself back on track now I've recovered from the birth.

I do love my DP and I wish that we could go back to how things were but we have both caused each other pain and now we just seem to try and wind each other up. He told me today that he has been in contact with an ex who I don't particularly like (she was immature and rude to me when I met her!) He wants to invite her over wtf! I am heartbroken and he can't even be bothered to understand why. I am incredibly lonely but have great family and friends.

Leave whilst your dc is young enough to not remember. Life is too short for shitty relationships

we have both caused each other pain and now we just seem to try and wind each other up

What sort of atmosphere do you think that is that going to breed for your child?

IMHO there's nothing to salvage here, someone who won't even acknowledge your feelings or opinions??

Why grind yourself down to nothing tolerating this behaviour OP, do the smart thing and plan your exit.

He has been in contact with an ex and wants to invite her over

Please tell me that's not going to happen.

I doubt it will happen but if it does it will be in a group setting and hopefully she has grown up a bit (she is 12 years younger than him!). I just feel completely deflated. However, our son is such a happy smiley baby that it helps soften all the other crap.

Even in a group setting it would be singularly inappropriate for him to engage with his ex at this particular time and if he does so he's a candidate for the patio singularly uncaring and unfeeling.

It seems your not so 'd'p is an emotionally immature twat and I suggest you start making plans to end this one-way relationship asap.

Are you married, renting or buying together? Is he financially supporting you? Will you be returning to work in the near future.

We do need a new patio!

We own our house together. But we are financially independent of one another and not married. I have a good job and don't return to work until after summer. I won't require any funds from him for our son but tbh I would rather sort us out and not have to go through a break up etc. If only there was a reset button!