No one touches me.

[RedIsWhereItsAt]

I'm single, have been for well over 10 years a while and except for hugging my children (all adults) and the occasional hug from a friend or colleague, no one touches me and I miss it.

So now I have a crush/limerance thing on a colleague who I had minimal interaction with for a couple of weeks (and he's left the company now anyway) and I just dream of bumping into him and touching him and being touched, both sexually and non sexually. I'm so lonely, it has crept up on me without realising, I was genuinely fine for all these years but since Christmas or thereabouts it's hit me like a brick. So now what? I'm quite religious so would prefer not to do online dating etc as the long term compatibility just wouldn't be there. (Same as with ex work colleague but I'm extremely willing to overlook that as sex appeal and chemistry oozes out of him so much I fear that he may actually be creating puddles wherever he goes.)

I'm 50, and thats a complete fucker too.

Might not answer for a bit because i have to wash up. I will touch my dinner plates and let them touch me.

What about a religious dating app? What religion are you?

Ha! I knew someone, years ago (a serious, professional colleague), who joined a Catholic ‘match-making’ agency and was flown around the world to meet potential dates. At their expense.

Obviously these few facts have a different ring to them now - but it honestly was all perfectly respectable. So, yes, nothing to lose by joining the 2020 equivalent. You may not get free transatlantic flights but you could meet some interesting people and have fun.

@SurpriseSparDay can you tell us more about this organisation ? !

Oh yes @SurpriseSparDay tell us! I am up for a bit of jet setting .
Well I’m not catholic but I can pretend.
Op , 50 is but a whippersnapper.
I hope you find someone nice.

I wish you good luck in finding someone. In the mean time getting massages in a spa might help a little.

When I was single, I used to treat myself to a massage at the local spa occasionally. I found it relaxing but it was also lovely to experience the nurturing and soothing touch of another human being. I hope this doesn’t make me sound creepy (I’m really not, I promise!) but I think most people like to be touched.

Could this be a possibility for you while you investigate your dating options? There are sites catering to all sorts of people now, so I’d be surprised if there wasn’t a site somewhere where you could meet like minded people.

Honestly - I only ever heard about it through my colleague (with whom I shared a house briefly at the start of a career). It made me envious enough to consider finding religion ...

I was sceptical of course, because even twenty odd years ago we knew the word ‘trafficking’ - but absolutely nothing bad happened. Other than the occasional free flight she was taken out for lots of smart dinner and theatre dates. And I know she joined because it was genuinely important to her that potential partners should have the same religious background.

I don’t think joining the agency was free - but it wasn’t prohibitively expensive. I’m quite sure similar outfits must exist now - I’ll leave it to you to google!

You should take up Ceroc (aka Modern Jive). Google it. There are beginners classes all over the country. It's perfectly normal to turn up without a partner and you'll end up dancing with dozens of different men in a night. You'll make new female friends too. It's a good way of having human contact in a safe environment and there will be plenty of people there in your age group and beyond. It doesn't matter if you have two left feet. You'll love it!

@RedIsWhereItsAt - Have you thought about coming to Lisdoonvarna? There is a matchmaker there that has a LOT of success. I've never been but it is legendary.

www.matchmakerireland.com/

I was also coming to recommend a massage. It's a non-sexual connection with another person with lots of additional benefits. It's worth spending your money on someone you know is going to be good and nurturing rather than a minimum wage member of staff in a hotel spa.

Ceroc (above) is everywhere and excellent. As also is TANGO (as in Argentine tango), where you start off in 'ballroom hold', but progress to 'close embrace', ie full-body contact. Yes, you embrace another person (in a non-sexual way),.....but only one that you choose to.....and its wonderful ! As with Ceroc, no partner is needed, indeed the idea is to dance with different partners. Ceroc is easy and you will be dancing after a week or two. Tango, more difficult, but stick with it. I started in my late 50s (previously would not have danced if drunk at a wedding). I stuck with it, and now regularly attend tango events all over the UK and Europe.

Definitely recommend a massage or facial.

PS....I have been to Lisdoonvarna.......er, don't !

Just wanted to say I get it I totally do! The odd hug from a friend and hugs from my 8yo. I've been single for 8 years and don't come from a tactile family and even typing how I feel is mak

ing me cry! It's all a bit pathetic.

Where’s Brian, when you need him??

Have a massage

This is totally not the same thing but could you ask one of your trusted friends to occasionally give you a hug?
I am autistic and always had tight hugs from my dad daily (like a squeeze iyswim) that used to calm me down (sensory issues)
I lost dad a couple of years ago but my coach at the gym knows some of my problems and I have asked him on a bad week when I am very jittery/verge of meltdown "can I hug you you please?" and he does this for me.
Totally nothing in it (he is happily married man) but he understands I think and it's very kind of him he says he doesn't mind. I have lots of lovely friends, but not many people can get that pressure I so badly need sometimes.
Sorry if I've totally got the wrong situation here, just trying to help a little bit

It might not be for everyone but it does work for some @ReginaPark. If the OP doesn't know about it, at least they do now.

Er.....why on earth would the OP want to journey to a small town on the west coast of Ireland to meet a lot of drunken Irish farmers ? I've been, you say you haven't....end of !

Thank you so much for responding, all of you.

Lisdoonvarna is sadly not my cup of tea but it's a great suggestion!

Massages are a brilliant idea. What sort of place do I look? I don't want to go to a health spa, so an alternative health place? And what sort of price? Any qualifications I need to look out for?

But I think I'm going to start to do something about my single status. What, I'm not sure. But my social life will pick up after my winter hibernation in the spring, so I'll have a think.

I'm the same OP. The only touch I get is being sandwiched in someone's sweaty smelly armpit on the tube.

So few people know how to hug properly. It’s an art. I agree that the all-enveloping hug with sustained pressure by a big friendly man is lovely.

Most people just bump chests, or pat you on the back or just stand next to you, limply leaning on you.