Would you be annoyed?

[ljimpan]

I've never posted before but I've been lurking on here for a while.

DD is 7. She didn't go to school yesterday as she said she had stomach ache (found out later she was lying). Her dad had her as I had to work. Last night after her dad dropped her off my friend (my exs best friend and they are like brothers) messaged asking if dd was ok as she fell over. I replied yes and asked him how he knew and he said that he looked after dd for a bit as her dad had to do something and he looks after he alot whilst he's doing things.

Would you be annoyed? Any advice would be appreciated.

Well there are a few factors here.

First up, this is second hand information. It might be true or it might be an exaggeration. It’s a curious thing to reveal in a snitch like manner. He has issues about baby sitting. Which he should resolve with your ex.

But the next issue is that your ex is allowed to arrange childcare for the time he spends with her. Just like you are. It’s not something you can interfere with. I would think any heavy handed attempt to would result in acrimony.

Maybe discuss revised access arrangements if the current ones cause problems for your ex and the amount of time he can spend with your daughter. It doesn’t have to be a fight between you.

I think this friend needs to do his own dirty work if he doesn’t like baby sitting.

He's allowed to seek help if necessary but you need to know about any change in circumstances , I.e. a quick text to let you know hes left dd with his mate while he pops out to do x y or a.

But....this shouldn't be frequent surely? I'd want to know how often dd is left with the mate and what they do in that time. If its once in a while, and you're told, I guess that's fine. But leaving her frequently and not telling you....not ok.